7. If These Walls Could Talk

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7. If these walls could talk

           Mental breakdowns aren't really Tim's thing, but he needs one so desperately. He feels as though he has bottled up his feelings for so long, that he just can't keep them contained anymore. The overwhelming emotion that he is feeling is definitely not normal . Although at this point he's pretty sure he doesn't even know what normal is anymore. 

           He clicks submit. 

           After a very long morning he finally catches up on all the work he didn't do the past few days. Thankfully it helped him keep mind off of things.

            He slouches back on to his chair, closing his eyes, not caring that his glasses fell lower on the bridge of his nose. 

            Stupid, Stupid, Stupid. 

            He wants to tell him that it was all a mistake. Wants to tell him that he wasn't in the right state of mind, but lately, he's never in the right state of mind. His relations with the 'Big Bad' Red Hood aren't exactly civil either, although recent events state otherwise. It feels strange to say the least. 

           He can't fathom as to why they keep meeting. Especially under such… inappropriate circumstances.  

           Tim keeps rereading the texts. Keeps blaming himself. Keeps wanting to rewind time and change things (which he could very well do). 

           

           He knows this number. He knows how he has it. He was young and dumb and VERY stalker-ish. He had gotten Jason's number back then and he had saved it. Although it surprises Tim that Hood still has the same number he had when he was 15. But, it is clever. Genius even. If anyone wanted to contact him through his phone number they wouldn't try to use his old number. 

           "Jason." He reads the contact name, sounding more like a whimper than anything. 

           His name feels so natural on his tongue, even if it does bring back some terrifying memories. 

           A tear slides down Tim's face as he remembers the night Jason had almost beaten him to death in Titans Tower. When this mysterious figure at angrily called him "replacement", that was when he realized it was his "dead long-term crush". He had felt some strength and whimpered his name. He doesn't know what happened next exactly, due to his concussion. All he knows is that Jason stopped, and left him there all bloodied up, bones broken and dignity lost.

           

           He knows that all the horrible crap that Jason has put him through has been the Lazarus Pit, but he still ultimately feels scared of Jason. He feels vulnerable around him, as much as he hates to admit it. He knows he shouldn't, but the scars he has just… scare him.  

           Though one thing's for sure, things have changed. For better or for the worse, the answer to that question is unknown and quite frankly, he might never even find out.

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