Shattered

Chapter 21

It's not rare for me to get lost in my thoughts.

When we were young, we all had ideas of what our futures would be, and as we got older, the ideas turned more realistic until we formed a plan. The early years of adulthood are all for figuring out what it is we truly desire in life. Of course, there's the lucky few who formed a plan in high school and it worked out for them, but there were others, like myself, who thought they knew what they wanted, only to experience that stage of doubt and reconsideration.

Eventually, most of us come to a decision and begin to pursue it, save for the few lost souls who spend their lives searching for an answer they won't find. However, there are certain things, things that can easily disrupt the "flow" that we've just gotten used to. A death, an accident, a divorce, a lover, a child, and suddenly, everything's changed. Life has a way of throwing the most unexpected events at us. All it took was one day, maybe just a few minutes, and your whole life was entirely different. Just like that. There's nothing you can do but live this new life you've been shoved into.

It's not easy, because we don't like adjusting, especially to a negative situation.

Every morning, I wake up to white sheets and a feeling of dread. My eyes open, but I'm not ready for another day, sleep is my figurative escape, because a literal one is nearly impossible. In this new life, I have one goal, whereas before, I would've had a plan for my day; places to go, things to do, people to see. I had a routine, a system, that I was used to, one that made me happy. I have yet to experience happiness here.

Another winter day, another cold morning. Convincing myself to get up, let alone move, is a struggle. Without a doubt, I spend more time laying on this bed in apprehension, letting my thoughts run, than I do anywhere else in this apartment. In this time, I discovered that I preferred being busy in my old life as opposed to being the most unproductive being in this life. Working, studying, any task, it gave me purpose. Let's agree to disagree about productivity, yeah?

My purpose now is to sit around and please the psychotic man pacing throughout the bedroom before me as he got ready for the day. Not that I exactly plan to fulfill that purpose. "Can I ask you a question?" With a hand clenched over the small opal dangling from my necklace, I used a soft voice, not wanting to start a quarrel already.

Chandler entered the closet for a few seconds before standing by the TV as he began to button his light gray shirt, already wearing black pants, most of his muscular chest revealed. I wondered when he found the time to work out, it's clear that he's strong with the way he handles me. That must make keeping me contained a hell of a lot easier. "Ask away," He answered with a small smile, still careful after what happened yesterday.

"It was December 2nd when you took me, and I think it's been around three weeks now, so what's the date?" It didn't matter the simplicity of the question, building the confidence to ask anything of him made my heart race. Quite obviously, I am scared of Chandler.

"It's December 30th." Slipping the last button into place, he adjusted his collar before going back into the closet. Twenty-nine days... It feels like it's been so much longer, but maybe that's because of how unhappy I am. "I won't be working tomorrow or the day after because of New Year's, so Stella won't be around." Thank god. I suppose she was gone those few days because of Christmas, but she's back now, unfortunately.

As Chandler left the closet for a final time, he had a black tie secured around his collar and brown suede shoes on. With a sigh, I moved to leave the bed, setting my left leg on the floor before the slim metal around my right ankle pulled me back, resulting in an ungrateful fall and forcing me onto my hands and one knee with my right leg still on the bed. To say the least, it was extremely uncomfortable.