Shattered

Chapter 32

*unedited until I get my new laptop*

"I want you to help me understand something, Stella."

Her chestnut hair swayed as she quickly turned to me, green eyes wide in surprise. This was the first time in over a week that I spoke to her, I'd be concerned if she wasn't surprised. After Nakoa left, I hardly spoke at all. Chandler was the only one to hear my voice, but then again, I didn't have much of a choice except to talk to him.

I had entered another depression, and along with diminishing my appetite, it also diminished my want to speak. With my whole entirety, I hated feeling this way. My recent days consisted of laying on the bed, leaving when I ate or went to the bathroom. If I got tired of that, I'd switch positions and sit, staring at the wall, the windows, the floor, anything that could occupy my mind.

The moment I start letting other thoughts in will be the moment I decide to do something like bathtub suicide attempt.

Pushing the blankets away, I sat up and faced Stella, patting the end of the bed. "I want to pick your brain, so sit down because this will take a while." I gave a small smile, desperately trying to push my sadness away. She finished rearranging the books on the shelf after she dusted it, wiping her hands and moving towards me.

"What can I do for you?" she asked while pushing a strand of hair away from her face. "I want to know more about you and Chandler, like how you ended up with this debt." I felt like it was the least she could do for me, especially after everything that happened.

As she sat beside me, she sighed, as if she knew this was coming eventually but hoped to avoid it. Stella was a mystery to me, I hardly she anything about her. She has a son, a mom with cancer, and a debt to Chandler, but what do I know about her?

"It's a long story made up of many events," she said quietly, reminiscing on these moments. "I have nothing else to do, I'll listen." I'm tired of constantly being faced with the unknown. If no one would give me answers, I'd find my own way to get them.

"I guess it started with my mom, she was close friends with Eileen, Chandler's mother." Stella shuffled her flats off her feet, pulling them onto the bed as she fully turned to me. "You'd never believe it, but Eileen is the sweetest person I've ever met, and I have a lot of gratitude towards her."

I'd believe it if I saw it, I thought to myself, gently pulling at the strings on the hoodie next to me. There's no way Chandler is who he is without some kind of reason.

"Because my mom was often around Eileen, I was around the Reid children a lot. Roselyn is a year younger than me, so you'd think we would've been friends, but you know, Rose is Rose."

"Chandler told you that she was here?" I asked, remembering that Stella had the day off when Rose visited. "Yeah, and I'm glad I was able to avoid it, she's a nightmare." I couldn't help but chuckle. "Chandler and I used to be pretty good friends, so he talks to me about his life ever so often, but for the most part, I don't know much about his current situation unless it includes you."

"Used to be?" I asked another question, internally telling myself to just shut up and let her tell the story. "I'm getting there," she said with a smile, holding her hand up. It seems that he would tell her things concerning me because she's always watching me when he's gone. Undoubtedly, whatever I do gets back to him.

"My mom and I spent a lot of time at their house, as I said, and since I didn't like Rose, I'd end up playing and spending time with Chandler and his friends, Lucas included unfortunately. Athena is almost six years younger than me, so she was maybe one when this was happening. Anyway, my parents were well-off, but when I was about ten, my dad got into a really bad investment and lost most of the money, which led to him taking off and leaving my mom and I to fend for ourselves. Eileen helped out a lot, taking care of me whenever my mom went to work and giving her money when she needed it. This was the beginning of the debt."