Later in the day, after I had already been on the bed for a while, save for the one bathroom break, Nakoa hobbled into my room, her smile bright, any pain she felt undetectable. "I missed you," she exasperated, throwing her arms around me and collapsing on my lap.
"I missed you too," I replied, running my fingers through her short black hair, the locks smooth against my dry hands. "That feels so nice, don't ever stop." Nakoa cuddled farther into my lap, bringing her knees in, practically curling into a ball. With a chuckle, I asked "what took you so long? I've been lonely."
"I was waiting for the painkillers to kick in, moving was too much of a hassle." She breathed out a tired sigh, clutching one hand over my calf. "You saw how Lucas had to carry me down." Having had the same experience with Chandler, I knew it wasn't pleasant, depending on them. "Is he being gentle?" Despite not being able to actually do anything, it still mattered to me how Nakoa was treated by Lucas, especially after he hurt her so severely.
"He's usually relatively gentle with me, just not when he's upset." Still combing her hair softly, I couldn't help but feel the connection between her and Avery; they were so similar. "How about we compare notes now? Looking up, she gave me a small smile, holding a thumbs up.
"Does Lucas get upset often?" Although our situations were extremely similar, there are aspects that would make living with these men different. "He's more passive-aggressive, honestly. I'll think he's okay, but after a bit, he'll just explode, and all hell breaks loose." Her eyebrows furrowed as she spoke, recollecting past memories.
"I don't know if that's better or worse than Chandler. He gets upset all the time, even when I say something that seemed okay in my head, but he doesn't 'explode' unless I've done something to really anger him." Chandler is like a puzzle; slowly, I'm putting together the pieces, understanding him further in order to predict his reactions better.
"It seems like he's the type of person to show different sides with certain people, but maybe he's just different with you because he knows you don't have much of a choice except to do what he says." Turning to me, Nakoa dramatically rolled her eyes before pushing herself up to sit. All I could do was shrug at her, unsure how to respond. It didn't sound far from the truth.
Contemplatively, I focused on the world outside, feeling the desperate tug on my heart, aching with a need to be out there. Perhaps if I 'behaved' for long enough, Chandler would grant me that small freedom, just a few minutes in the sun would be acceptable. I could work it up from there, maybe convince him to walk with me. My thoughts were hopeful, but I didn't allow myself to hold on to something I knew wasn't likely. Ponder for a bit and then release the thought.
"Why did Chandler chain you to the bed?" As Nakoa asked, I looked to her, watching her gaze on the slim metal clasped around my ankle. "Because of last night," I mumbled, not wanting to relive the eventful evening. Beginning to pick at the skin around my short, bitten nails, I wasn't sure if I felt regret or relief towards my actions and the outcome. Maybe I actually struck something in Chandler that would make him want to be better, but I knew the possibility of him releasing me was very slim.
"Chandler came into our room yelling that you weren't breathing, and Lucas wouldn't let me go with him when he went to help, so I'm not entirely aware of what happened." One of her hands came over mine, lilac color polished immaculately over her almond-shaped nails. "I mean, I'm not stupid I can form a basic idea of what happened, but I figured you could tell me about it since Lucas doesn't tell me shit. Of course, if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine too." Flustered, she rambled on, her eyes wide.
"Nakoa," I called while squeezing her hand, drawing her attention and cutting off her words. "It's okay, you can ask me whatever you want, I'll answer." With a small smile that didn't quite reach my eyes, I breathed in deeply. "Yes, I did try to kill myself, and since I'm talking to you right now, it clearly didn't work."
YOU ARE READING
Shattered
Romance"Baby, there's no secret you can keep from me, which means that if you leave me, I will always find you." In another life we would have been lovers. In another life this was my happily ever after and he was my Prince Charming. In another life it wou...
