Shattered

Chapter 33

A new chapter of 4,200 words just for you ;)

People suck. I hate people.

"I don't want to see anyone," I repeated, pulling my hood up and turning into the pillow, stuffing my face in the soft fabric. I especially did not want to see Chandler, but he's a little shit who never goes away. One day, give me one day to be alone and have a break.

"You confuse me, Jess." Beside me, I heard him shifting his arms, stepping a bit closer, yet I couldn't bring myself to look at him. His stare was far too intimidating. The longer I look at it, the more it scares me, which in turn leads to me obeying his commands.

"I thought you wanted other people to talk to since you only talk to me because you feel like you have to, and you don't like Stella." His voice had gotten a bit lower since he came in here, which I assume was due to him growing impatient towards my behavior. In short, I haven't been the nicest or the most obedient since Nakoa left.

After he left me chained to the bed like that, I screamed until I heard the door shut. The following days, I pointlessly attacked Chandler when I got the urge, usually when he arrived from work or while he was sleeping. I'll admit, I took some joy out of it, and not being punished for it definitely inflated my ego to where I thought I could get away with it.

Maybe my constant shifting from staring at walls and being silent to lunging and screaming made him a bit resilient and considerate towards me. Last night, however, I pushed my limit and got a taste of my own medicine, at least with the screaming part. God, his voice can be so damn loud and scary sometimes. He got me to listen after our screaming battle, but now I was feeling irritated because he was back early. Look, my emotions and feelings were just one big mess hardly being held together anymore, I wasn't exactly thinking rationally anymore.

"Chandler, I don't talk to you because I feel like I have to, I know I have to. And don't tell me differently, it's the truth." Was I pushing him too far once again? Probably. Would I stop? Not unless I had to.

I felt his hands grab onto my waist, which immediately caused me to tense. "You're being painstakingly stubborn today," he reprimanded while pulling me up, forcing me to sit on my knees and face him. Although I was on the bed, his upper chest was at my eyelevel, so I had to crane my neck to meet his eyes.

"I'll give you two options, Jess. You can stay here and continue to do nothing, or you can make your life a little better and interact with other people." Although I wanted to shrink at his authoritative tone, I put on my bravest front and held eye contact. I loved his eyes so much I hated them. I hated all the fear they could instill in me. Something so beautiful should not be able to cause such a disturbing reaction.

There was no reason for me to react so disgusted at the thought of seeing Nyx, but I was mad and on edge. I never would admit that, perhaps, I wanted to see her. In a way, it made me feel like I was forgetting about or replacing Nakoa. My mind was all sorts of fucked up, I could barely tell right from wrong, rational from irrational.

Finally, I dropped my gaze, sighing and staring at the small distance between us. I didn't know what to say, how to respond. My answer would be yes and no. I wanted to get up, but I also wanted to do nothing and wallow in my depression.

Chandler wrapped his arms across my back, pulling me against him in an embrace, deciding what would happen without waiting for my answer. I didn't move. His warmth and the gentle beating of his heart strangely calmed me. I craved the caring touch of another, I only wish Chandler weren't the one to give it. My mind could so easily forget the pain that this exact same touch could bring, remembering when it's too late.