Big Brothers

I Can Get Through This

Mom gave me one extra day to relax. We talked all night and everyone assured me that everything will be okay. Justice will be served. I can only hope that can be true. I can't help but think about how Christian's brother handled everything in the first place. It's like they're trained to be like they are...

"Are you ready for school?" Mom asks me from across the counter.

I've been eating my favorite cereal, Honey Bunches Of Oats. I have to start the day on a good note. I thought maybe eating this will make me feel better. The knot in my stomach reminds me otherwise. I shake the feeling of Christian away. It's what's making my knot worse.

"I can't be stuck at home forever." I say.

It doesn't matter if I'm ready or not. I've missed too many days. Kayla texts me on what I've missed. She's been amazing, asking all my teachers for my work. I'll be sure to pay her back every second of kindness she's given me. The fact that we clicked to easily and so effortlessly.

"Okay, just... control your temper." She says.

"My temp——"

"Your temper. I know the second you see her, you'll pounce. Stay with Kayla. Have her keep you busy." Mom says.

She knows me too well. She's my mom, what should I expect? I take a deep breath and take my last bite of my cereal. I'll have to close my eyes or something to avoid seeing her. Kayla isn't always with me and I don't think she knows that. It really sucks that she and I only have lunch together. I've dealt with my brothers before... I think I can deal with three extra girls.

"You ready?" Alex asks, breathing a little heavy.

He probably rushed down here. Are we late? I check the time on the microwave. Nope, it's only 7:35am. We should get going, though. Thankfully, it's not too far from here. Everyone else has been in the car, waiting for me to finish eating. They're being nice to me today. I guess they feel forced to.

I nod my head and place my bowl in the sink. I kiss my mom goodbye and race out the door with Alex. I have to put a pretty face. I have to be positive...

"Alrighty, kids." Chris begins.

"Ay ay, captain." I laugh.

This is good... a good morning... a good laugh. I can do this. Chris pulls away and drives off. I'm in the middle of Alex and Jason. Dylan is in the front seat with Chris as the driver, obviously. I can't wait to see James. We haven't talked since last night... we definitely need to address what's going on.

"Do you even remember where your classes are?" Jason jokes.

"Right, it's been awhile." Alex laughs along.

"It's not like I woke up from a coma and can't remember the last two months, guys." I shake my head. "I'll be fine."

At least that's what I've been telling myself. I can't really figure out how I'll walk into school and pretend there aren't rumors. Pretend that no one believes every word. I wonder if the teachers believe them, too. I take a deep breath. I've been doing so good...

"Guys." Chris says. "This isn't easy."

"I was just saying..." Jason says.

"Well, you're making her nervous." Dylan says. "Just stop."

Silence. There's that awkward vibe again. I definitely didn't miss that... I'm not nervous. I'm just ready for school. That's all. I should've just played along with it. Maybe it wouldn't have seemed like I was... scared..? I think they're going to treat me like I'm some fragile glass. This isn't what I wanted. I want to feel strong again like last night. I want to feel like I can get over this bad moment. Now they're just making me feel... nervous. Oh, great.