If Only...

THE BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD

Lily eyes me cautiously, eyes narrowed.

"No, he didn't. I care about you too, you know. Danny called and told me your address. I came as fast as I could."

"How does he know where I--"

"Did you really think that you'll ask him to keep away, then drive away in front of him and expect him not to follow, Alex? History repeats. You should know by now."

"Yeah, he's done it once before." I quickly think back to the day when he had followed me home from school. This was before we had known each other.

Lily sighs and scoots closet to me.

"Look, Alex. I'm just gonna say it, okay? I have never seen anyone love someone so much and for so long even after everything that's happened. He's waited a really long time for this. And I'm not asking you to take him back right away. That's between the two of you."

She wets her lips and shifts so she's facing me, and takes both my hands in hers, compelling me to look into her eyes.

"But please don't keep him away from his daughter, Alex. I have kids too now and I know how important it is. Rosie needs her father, Alex. Just like you needed one. . ." She pauses, watching my response, but once she sees that I know her heart's in the right place, she continues.

"Back then, you didn't have a chance. I'm sorry, but Rosie does. Don't do this to him, okay? He's already missed six years of her life, Alex. And don't even get me started about you. But again that's between you two." Lily pauses, searching my eyes for some sign of reception. Like the tears weren't enough.

But this isn't fair!

Is it?

"He's waited too long, Alex. And he'll go bananas if he misses any more."

"You're talking like he's the only one who's missed us." I mumble, freeing myself of her gaze.

See? This is what happens every heart-to-heart-eye-to-eye session. One look into those brown globes and the truths spill out like chocolate filling from a lava cake.

"So you?. . ." Lily drawls, a sense of hope lighting up her face. Hoe could I stop now?

"God knows I have. I . . . craved for him, Lily. It was painful, but I got over it. I realized that I had to deal with it all alone--"

"But you don't have to anymore. We're here for you and things can go back to be exactly like they used to."

I give her a sad smile.

"I don't know about exactly like they used to be . . ."

"They could be if you let them, Alex . . . Danny's trying and you need to realize that you don't just stop loving someone, okay?"

I nod, turning it over in my head.

Need to realize?

Is there a compulsion?

"He hasn't been seeing anyone else since you. Talk about chastity." Lily smirks to herself. Somehow, this isn't a surprise. I remember him telling me how we all find love only once in our lives. And he had found his. And I had too . . .

But now? I have a hard time believing anything.

"No, things will change. I mean, yeah, what we had was beautiful but . . . he's gonna move on, Lily, trust me. A guy that charming and . . . smart and . . . talented and . . ."

"That great a kisser, that unbelievably hot, that satiating in bed . . . don't hold back, tiger."

Lily flashes her teeth, making me flush red under the sun.