Something Beautiful

Twenty-Three: Changes

"Change before you have to." - Jack Welch

I only remained on the couch a little while after my dad left the room, but it was enough to make me think more about what I was doing. Where I was going and who I was going to. Normally I'm the one to overthink things, miss oppurtunities, and cringe at taking risks. Tonight though, as much as I wanted to e sensible and think things through, my heart was taking over my mind and I just had to take the jump. Even if it was into the dark.

With a resolve I didn't understand, I grabbed my dad's keys off the hook, then went outside to his car. I still don't own my baby yet, but hopefully just another month and it'll be mine. So for now I'll be driving my dad's junker all the way to Caleb's house on the other side of town. I've only ever been to his house once since we've been dating, but it was just his driveway- he had to run inside to get something while I waiting in the car- but of course I know exactly where it is. That's just something a girlfriend remembers.

Once I'm on my way my mind drifts and I wonder how he's going to react. It's still ridiculously early, the sky is dark as night, he'll probably think I've lost it. I imagine what his face will be like when he opens the door and sees me standing there. Will he be happy to see me or will he tell me to go home and stop being weird? I don't know, though the latter seems more like a Carl reaction.

I come to a red light and slam on the breaks, almost missed it. My mind is just everywhere, it's hard to focus on the road ahead of me. Plus it's so dark and the rain isn't helping anything. I cringe as lightening flashes across the black sky and just then the light turns green. Once I'm moving again I try my best to focus on driving, but it's really hard since I'm nervous about what I'm about to do. Is it too late to turn back? No, but I can't. I have to do this.

I shoot right by a stop sign and my stomach flips. Oh, God! How'd I miss that? Instantly I begin preparing to pull over, sure that flashing red lights will appear in my rearview mirror any second. My glances in the mirror are rapid and frantic, but no lights appear. Did I get away with it? I mean it is a weird time and the rain makes it hard to see, maybe I have. I don't let the edge go though and from then on drive more carefully, thanking God I live in a small town with lazy police.

His house is just two blocks away now.

Just a few more minutes.

Lights flash in my peripheral, a horn blares, tires skid, and my heart stops as the lights come rushing at me at a frightening speed. Instinctively I turn my car's wheel as fast as I possibly can, as hard in the opposite direction as is humanly possible. Of course this brings a whole new danger into my view; a parked car. It hits me hard and fast that I'm stuck and my body tightens just as the other vehicle collides with mine.

Just like that everything is gone.

The car disappears from beneath me. The rain doesn't fall from the sky. I'm not going anywhere.