Celebrity Imagines

Phoebe Tonkin

No more Claire

Maybe coming here wasn't a good idea at all. I've always hated waiting, whether it is for my coffee or my unofficial ex-wife. Awkwardly sitting and lighting up like a bulb when the waiters bring up food but swiftly miss your table and set the plate on your neighboring booth isn't my thing either.

When we were together, Phoebe knew how much I hated eating out, she'd always arrange a small picnic for just the two of us. But now that we're separated, this restaurant seemed to be her choice for meeting up and talking.

I despise how clever she is and how stupid I am to come here and wait for her to show up. Waiting for Phoebe isn't as worthy as waiting for food.

I checked my phone once again, noticing the time and calculating in my head. She's 23 minutes late. Rubbing my palms together, I looked around trying to distract myself. There were families eating, some couples kissing and a few people having the worst first date ever. Or the second date, I don't really know.

But then I saw her approaching me, looking beautiful as always. She was wearing an attire too formal for this place and so I figured she must have been coming from a business meeting or something like that.

She huffed when she saw me, and quickly slid into the booth. Her face held a number of emotions and the only one I could pick out was guilt.

"I... I'm sorry I got held up for a meeting," she shrugged.

I nodded, understanding, of course being with her for so many years taught me that her job demands a really tight schedule from her.

"So you ordered something?" She asked after a while when she noticed I definitely wasn't going to break the ice.

I shook my head no, to which she nodded, "yeah, I'm sorry I called to meet up here, it's the closest place I could think of. If you want, we could leave."

"Nah, it's fine,"

A part of me was thankful that I still had her in a way, that I finally got to see her after so long and that we're having a civil conversation. But the other part of me refused to move on from the phone conversation with Claire that day and how Phoebe just left and didn't even try to reach out until now.

"I'm so sorry I didn't call earlier. I was just scared and well, trying to figure things out. But now I've made up my mind and I need you to hear me out once before you make up your mind and hate me forever."

She continued, "first of all, I'm sorry that I cheated on you. I know there's nothing I can say to justify what I did so I'll just leave it there. I love you, I still do and I loved you even when I was sleeping with her. You were the only thing in my mind. I still haven't figured out why I did that but all I know is that I will do anything to make us better again. This all may seem bullshit to you, but trust me, I'm ready to fix my mistakes."

"Wow..." I murmured. "Phoebe, I know where you're trying to go but please understand that I'm not ready to move on from that, I don't want to forgive you just yet because whenever I think about you all I ended up imagining you and Claire and the thought scares me a lot. Yes, you did it once and yes, you accept it but what if you do it again and beg me to forgive you? You don't even know why you did it. Tell me, Phoebe, if there is no valid reason to do it, then why did you do it?"

"You want me to move on but how can I when I'm still trying to figure out why the only person I've ever loved left me home alone just to sleep with someone else on our anniversary."

Phoebe looked worse than she thought she'd look. She seemed distraught.

"I-I know that and-"

"Save it, I don't want to hear your sorry ass again." I hissed.

"Listen, I promise that this is never going to happen ever again. After being completely away from you, I realized how much you mean to me and how much I love you."

I sighed. This place is not at all suitable for such a serious conversation. As if reading my mind, Phoebe asked, "do you want to get some fresh air?"

I nodded and got up, without looking back at her. I exited the restaurant and was greeted by the chill breeze of the setting sun. Phoebe followed me out. From there she took the lead and got in her car not before opening the passenger door for me.

I slightly froze at the gesture, considering that she used to open doors for me when we were on good terms but now that I caught her cheating and talked to her after almost a month, I didn't think she'd do that.

She drove in silence, and I didn't want to be the one to break it so I left the thought of our destination only to my imagination.

After a while we reached the most calming place according to me after my bed; it's the beach.

There was barely anyone, considering it was a weekday and the weather wasn't suitable enough for a trip to the beach. But we weren't here for a dip in the water, or so I hope for.

I followed Phoebe and sat beside her on the sand.

"You know the thing about this sand?" She picked a handful of sand, "the more you try to keep it in your hand, the faster it slips away."

"And that is what happened, I got held too tight between work, responsibilities and you. I wanted to break this cycle because it suffocated me. Claire is my ex from when we were in college, and when we started working, the feelings began to resurface. I gave her comfort and she gave me the keys which opened all locks in my life, and sadly one of them was commitment."

"And when I was freed from this- this commitment between you and me, I felt like a bird. After all, there was something which lessened the burden, which was meaningless sex. But soon the guilt started eating me alive and I think I lost it when I slept with her on our anniversary too."

I sighed, this was all too much to take in. "Are you going to do that again? Back down when you're fed up with your everyday life?"

"No, not again. Never, I promise-"

"Your promises won't make me believe you, your actions will."

The sound of waves hitting the shore and then returning back again made me optimistic and calm.

Maybe I'm over it. I think I've moved on.

"Okay, fine I accept your apology," I crossed my arms over my chest, being overdramatic. "But I might need some ice cream to really accept your sorry ass." I giggled.

Phoebe smiled a gorgeous smile, enough to make my heart beat faster than a race car. She threw her arm around my shoulder as I leaned into her. "Let's go fast so we can catch the sunset later while having some ice cream."