The One You Know

Chapter 8 - Nervously

Point of View: Layne Staley

I was nervous. I didnt known why. Jerry was just coming over to play guitar for me.

Was that a weird thing to ask for? For someone to come over so you can hear them play guitar?

I dont know.. I just loved hearing him play. Watching his hands move. His eyes flick from the strings, up at me. Like he was making sure I was watching what he was doing. Part of me wanted him back because I need to figure things out. A lot of things.

My bandmates were out drinking for the night. I told them I'd pass since I drank with Jerry last night. I didn't want a hang over two nights in a row.

I heard a knock at my door.

It was Jerry. With his guitar. I smiled, and let him in.

"I wrote something last night. Wanna hear?"

I nodded. "Yes."

Jerry sat on my couch, and messed with his tuning pegs for a bit, then started to softly strum something.

The begging was slow and easy. Then came a solo type thing. It was very emotional sounding. You knew it was meant to be sad, and filled with pain, even without dark lyrics to back it up.

"What were you thinking about? ..when you wrote that?" I asked.

Jerry shrugged. "Maybe lonliness. Maybe nothing at all. I dont pay much attention. I just play."

"Well..it was really good."

"Thanks Layne."

It got quiet for a moment. Quiet enough for me to stare off for a bit.

"You okay Layne?"

"Huh?" I snapped back to reality. "I'm just trying to figure some stuff out. Sorry."

"Like what?"

I thought I might as well just say it. I wouldn't let anxiety stop me now.

"I didn't know that I liked boys till last night."

Jerry looked at me confused. "What do you mean?"

"I- well I never liked a boy till last night."

"Someone at the party?"

I nodded.

"Who?"

I shrugged and looked down at my hands.

"Oh god- it was me. Wasnt it?" He asked.

I cleared my throat. "Yeah."

"Well- I'm just one boy Layne. You dont like boys in general if you've never liked a boy before now."

"But I like you. I know it doesnt matter. Because you dont want to be held down. And you and Stone. Plus we just met and all."

"Layne. You know why I stayed with you last night?"

"You said its just cause you accidentally passed out."

Jerry shook his head. "If you were Stone.. we wouldve made out..smoked.. talked.. and I would've left. Until the next time we wanted it all over again. But you're not. You're something different. So I laid there silently with you. We stopped kissing when you seemed uncomfortable."

"I liked it."

"Liked what?"

"Kissing you."

Jerry gave me a small smile. "Me too. But are you sure you like me? Sure you want this? That you're okay with it?"

I nodded.

"Look kid. I cant date. Not now. I'm not ready to be tied down at 23. And I doubt you are at 18. Well do the sentimental shit if you want to, instead of just fucking around.. but I need you to be 100% sure you want it. Alright?"

"I am sure. You dont gotta keep asking."

Jerry pushed my hair back, and softly said "Sweet Boy." Before kissing me lightly. "I want it too. Obviously do if I'm fine with going slow."

"Can we kiss again?" I asked.

"God, you're gonna ruin me kid."

"You know I'm an adult right? You dont gotta keep calling me kid."

"Got it." Jerry said, before kissing me again. That's just what we did. Over and over.