Don't You Worry About The Distance

Chapter 37

Kellin's POV

I froze in place, unable to breathe properly. I couldn't believe those words had actually left his lips. He couldn't be giving up on us, not this easy. Not after everything we've gone through.

I sat there unable to move a muscle, his brown eyes were piercing through my blue ones with such determination I was afraid I wouldn't be able to change his mind but I knew I had to try. We couldn't break up like this. We just couldn't.

"Vic." I managed to choke out, tears spilling down my cheeks still. "Please don't do this." I said coming closer to him but he lowered his gaze and moved away quickly as if I were some sort of disease. It hurt to know he thought so lowly of me now, but I knew he had a good reason and I respected that, so I sighed, sitting back on the same spot.

"It's for the best, Kellin." He whispered as if he were trying to convince himself rather than me. "This can't work out if we're not honest with each other."

"I know that and I'm sorry." I sighed, looking down at my hands instead. I didn't even know what to say. I did lieto him, but it wasn't like what I did was worse than him continuing fücking Alexander knowing he was the cause we were split up in the first place, and that mere thought had my blood boiling. He couldn't make me the bad guy here, he didn't have the right to turn things around. "But you can't be serious." I said with a deep frown on my face, feeling my anger build up again.

"What?" He asked through a whisper, finally turning to look at me with a confused face. His cheeks were stained with tears and I realized he had been crying too. He wore the harsh façade in our relationship all the time so it was rare seeing him break down like this and that only showed how much he actually cared.

"You can't compare Matty's and I relationship with the one you had with Alexander." I retorted, trying to keep my voice low because honestly I was tired of screaming. He went to talk but I interrupted. "Do you know how many times he had the chance to take advantage of me but he didn't? Do you know how many fücking times I got drunk and ended up sobbing to him because of you? Do you?"

"Kel-" He tried to interrupt me, his face held regret on every one of his features but I was too pissed to even care.

"Let me speak, Victor." I said bitterly, looking at him sternly. "He was the one who kept me sane through all the time we were broken up and he's been nothing but a good friend. That is difference between your relationship with Alexander and mine with Matty."

He rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Sure, good guy Matty, always saving the day."

"Stop being such an asshole and be grateful because if it weren't for him, your ass would be in New York right now." I finally exploded at him for behaving like a child. "I wasn't going to take you back. Did you know he was the one who opened my eyes and made me realize how much we actually need each other?" I sighed, trying to calm myself down. "That is the difference between Alexander and Matty. While that other asshole back in New York is a selfish son of a bïtch who only gives a fück about his own pleasure, Matty only wants what's best for me and he knows that is you. So don't you dare compare your shïtty relationship with the friendship we have because you know nothing."

"If you're so close and talk so highly of him, why don’t you just get together already?" He huffed, looking away from me and crossing his arms over his chest like a little kid would.

"You're such a stubborn little shït." I muttered under my breath before crawling to him. Once I was close enough and he didn't push me away, I took his face with my hands and made him look at me straight in the eye. "I don't want him, I want you." I said, never looking away, not even when he struggled to pry my fingers off his face. "Because I love only you and I thought you knew that by now." I paused, my gaze locked in his deep brown eyes. "Do you think I would've gone through all this mess if I didn't?" I moved so I was straddling him and he instantly placed his hands on my hips. I almost smiled because that meant he was giving in but I refrained myself. "I know I fücked up when I lied to you but you weren't completely honest either so don't you try to blame this on me."