Devil's Food Cake [✓]

46 | candy pandy

I sighed. What an earth had a got myself into? This was the most unconventional and shocking situation I'd ever experienced. And trust me, I'd been in a lot — the common denominator being Zachary. One of my muffins had almost killed him, then he'd offered my father a fantastic offer and now he'd kiss me in the privacy of his own apartment! Jonny's face popped into my head as though acting as the angel on my shoulder, warning me to get away from Zachary immediately before the situation escalated into something bigger.

How could I have been so stupid? Sometimes I amazed myself with my own naivety. What had I expected when I decided to willingly enter into the bloodsucker's domain. Zachary was gazing at me, contentment etched into his features. Shockingly, he did look satisfied with the situation and going by the way my breath was relaxed, I seemed to be at ease around him instead of panicking as I should have. I had betrayed my boyfriend! My lovely, kind, patient boyfriend Jonny who I'd known longer than Zachary! I was an awful human being...

'This is nice,' Zachary remarked, he picked up my hand laying on my lap and threaded his fingers through mine. 'I had a good day. Seeing you was enough to brighten my mood. You certainly have a knack for that sort of thing.'

I stared at him. Why was he saying this to me? Didn't he realise what he'd just done? What we'd done? Why was he being so calm and complimentary about what had just occurred between us as though it was all natural?

My thoughts were all in a flurry; I may have seemed passive but I was trying to wake up my limbs from the spell that he'd cast.

'Zachary,' I said, extricating my hand from his.

'Hm?' he said, giving me his full attention, as though I was the only person he had time for. It almost made me lose my resolve.

'What we did now...' I attempted to organise my thoughts, but I was failing miserably, tailing off.

'When I kissed you?' he offered. A frown came over his face. 'You didn't like it?'

'No, I liked it!' I said hurriedly. His face broke into the most remarkable smile, one which I'd never seen him give to anyone. The kind of smile that makes you forget about your troubles and want to make him happy for eternity. I was blown away. He had that overwhelming effect on me, I would have been in total denial if I'd said otherwise.

'Then what's the problem?' he said.

'But...' I looked away from him, trying to find the strength to deliver the next important sentences.

'But you can't risk losing Jonno...' he finished off for me; there was a touch of bile in his tone as though he didn't want to admit it.

'Yeah. I already feel bad about what just happened. Like I betrayed him.' I fiddled with my charm bracelets, watching the little silver sea shell tinkle together with the quartz heart stone I'd bought at at a market a few weeks ago. It had looked so soothing and made me feel a renewed sense of hope for the future. Rubbing it, I was trying to find something optimistic to take way from this situation.

'Everyone does it!' Zachary shrugged. When I didn't respond and gave him a look, he laughed a little. 'Ok, maybe not everyone, but it happens. You shouldn't torture yourself over it. Your boyfriend wouldn't want it,' he spat out the word 'boyfriend' as though it was an unfortunate, troublesome pest that he'd had to remove from his premises even though he'd treated the money spider with infinitely more kindness.

'Have you ever cheated on your girlfriends?' I said slowly. I was afraid of the response but I wanted to hear it. Zachary looked at me for a moment, probably trying to figure out if now was the time to go into his romantic history. I mean, I'd already heard him boasting about screwing the headmaster's daughter, did I really want to hear the rest of his stories at that moment when I should have fled? It was sort of like when you watch nature documentaries on television. My dad and I were huge fans. There had been one particular episode which had stuck with me years later.

Imagine a wide, golden expanse of land, vibrant green threads dotted around. A gazelle feeding on greenery, the graceful head dipping down, spindly legs somehow managing to hold it up. Meanwhile, lurking in the shadows, camouflaged in the golden grass is a cheetah. As if sensing the dangerous presence of the cheetah, the gazelle begins to run with the cheetah after it. Watching that scene had to be one of the most stressful moments of my eight year old life. Luckily, a hot air balloon had interrupted the cheetah's death march and the fawn had managed to escape, but it had proved to be traumatic for me for a week after and my father had explained to me that sometimes the animal food chain wasn't always as cuddly and nice as animated Disney movies made it appear. Not every animal wanted the best for another. If Zachary was anything to go by, he had his own motives and needs which didn't necessarily align with mine. Sometimes gazelles and cheetahs couldn't, or wouldn't, get along...

Zachary had gone up to close the curtains. 'Plenty of times. They probably cheated on me too.' He looked back at me with a wry smile.

'Oh,' I said limply.

'You don't approve of my promiscuity?' He was pushing the window closed, snapping the latch shut.

'No, no,' I said quickly. I reached forward for a coffee table book and took the opportunity to leaf through the pages to give my hands something to do. The book was on beautifully designed aircraft. 'I don't see how anyone could ever cheat on you, Zach.' I had said the words because it was true — I was utterly bemused as to why anyone would want to betray his trust. Getting to know him had been fun; he was very generous with his time, contacts and money. From shaky beginnings, our friendship had developed into something that I valued and cherished despite his occasional annoyances.

When I looked up, he was staring at me with the strangest expression, almost like he couldn't believe I'd uttered those words as sincerely as I had. He was touched.

'Was that a compliment, Candy Pandy?' he probed.

Had he just called me Candy Pandy? When had he got into the habit of using a pet name for me? Candy Pandy after Andy Pandy. How original. Anyone else and I would have been mortified, but coming from his mouth, it sounded sweet. I had never taken him for a pet name guy or a softie.

Perhaps he was neither.

I nodded shyly, and payed particular attention to a plane called the Lockheed P-38 Lightning I was intensely focusing on. It was a slim, shiny, retro looking plane which looked like three planes in one. It was immense and striking, especially with its two dazzling red noses on either side, the colour of a 1950s screen siren's nails.

'Ah, the Lockheed!' He was peering at the book over my shoulder. 'That's one of my favourites. Kelly Johnson was a great engineer.' He hummed appreciatively.

'It's different from the other planes.' I stroked the image with my thumb.

'It is,' he agreed. 'The Germans called it the 'Fork Tailed Devil'. I guess, to them, it must have looked like a fearsome beast in the sky during Pearl Harbour. But, there's no denying it's a stylish plane, isn't it?'

'Beautiful.' I was observing him, staring at the plane. As if conscious of my gaze, his head turned towards me and stared directly at me, taking a little meander down to my mouth.

'Agreed.' Transfixed, he licked his lips and I knew with as much certainty as I was capable of feeling, that he was itching to do more than just kiss me...

It would have been a lie to admit otherwise, I was sorely tempted.