gentle breeze - ateez seongjoong

♡ 11

seonghwa was really hating himself now. 

if he had not avoided him in the first place, then all this wouldn’t have to happen. he wouldn’t be feeling shitty right now. he could have been enjoying the day, laughing with no worries. but no, his dumbass had to screw everything up. 

all the way through the second period, which was math, he had pulled a long face and stayed silent. hongjoong had stayed silent too, but it was for another reason. their original math teacher had fallen sick, so their lesson was taken over by an old lady, who was rumored to be super strict and naggy. turns out the rumors were true. hongjoong didn’t want to risk getting the both of them in trouble, so he has stayed silent the entire lesson, focusing on the rather boring lesson. 

hongjoong had no idea seonghwa had taken this the wrong way. and seonghwa had no idea he was taking this the wrong way.

well, the two of them are just fools in love. what can be done?

mingi, who was sitting diagonally in front of them, kept looking back at them and sighing. it was his turn to shake his head. 

--

hongjoong started to notice that seonghwa wasn't as energetic as usual when they exited the classroom, making their way to the cafeteria.

"hey, joong. ya feel me yet?" mingi went up to the two figures, slinging his arm around the shorter's shoulder easily. mingi had followed along with them, since yunho asked him not to wait for him outside his class, which was a long way from their math class.

"what are you talking about? no way i would ever feel like you," hongjoong rolled his eyes and pushed his arm off playfully.

"sure thing. i bet you'd be coming to me for answers,"

"and why would i do that?"

"because you're a dumbass,"

the conversation continued as they ventured down the stairs, leaving an overthinking seonghwa all by himself.

the more he listened to them, the more he thought. the more he thought, the more flustered he got.

hongjoong must be tired of me. that's why he would feel like mingi, who was tired of the math teacher. he would approach mingi for advice on how to break this friendship with me, and then we'd never talk again.

he heard hongjoong shout his name after a single tear rolled down his cheek, followed by a impact on his forehead, causing him to feel pain.

seems that he had bumped into a wall.

"seonghwa! are you okay?" hongjoong anxiously brushed up his bangs, checking his forehead for any bruises. as he leaned in to take a closer look, his breath fell onto seonghwa's face, causing his heart to pick up speed.

his previous emotions started to kick in, and the tap started flowing. hongjoong, who was shocked at the sudden outburst, took seonghwa in his embrace, and patted the taller's back.

"aigoo, it must hurt a lot. seong-ie, please be more careful next time okay? joong-ie will be worried. there, there, it's alright now," hongjoong comforted in a cutesy voice, hoping it would calm him down. but, he thought wrong. seonghwa cried even more, as his feelings became more mixed and messy than it already was.

at this point, there was a crowd forming nearby, watching the show. it was just so interesting to watch. the school's scary cool prince and the new transfer student! their personalities had totally changed! especially the scary cool prince's! he is actually crying! in! the! public!

hongjoong had noticed some people with their phones out, directed at them, probably recording. flustered, he asked mingi to help them get some snacks for lunch, and quickly lead the bawling seonghwa to their usual lunch spot.

--

"h-hongjoong. i-i'm so sorry. i-i just f-feel so... frustrated," seonghwa apologises through his sobbing, digging his face in his palms. he probably looked like the ugliest person on earth right now, and was afraid to show his tear-stained face to hongjoong. another wave of tears released themselves as this thought flashed through his mind.

"you don't have to be sorry, hwa," hongjoong tried to take his hands away from his face, but seonghwa resisted. "calm down, hwa. it's alright. there's only you and me here," he assured, pulling him into his embrace, stroking his back and patting his head gently, playing with his hair as he did.

"i'm so sorry. i keep overthinking, joong. i can't stop. i know i'm being dumb, and you'd probably think i'm stupid or whatever. i don't know when this all started, but i said that thing this morning, and then i kept overthinking your actions. i was so afraid that you'd leave me. god... this is all so dumb. i'm so sorry,"

seonghwa's hands left his face, and found their way around hongjoong's waist. he held them tightly, and sobbed into his chest.

"there, there,"

the two stayed like this until seonghwa started speaking.

he sniffled, looking up at hongjoong. he didn't know where that courage came from.

"i don't know what i want. this is my first time having a nice friend, a good friend, a caring friend. i don't know if i'm seeing you as a friend, or... lovers,"

hongjoong was about to cry, too. but he resisted the tears, trying to stay strong for seonghwa.

"my heart races whenever i see you. i love your reactions whenever you taste my cooking. it makes me wanna cook for you forever... but thinking about that just makes me... feel anxious. maybe you don't feel the same, maybe you don't even want to be with me right now, but you're just here for the sake of it. if that's really true... then i'll-"

hongjoong widened his eyes, loudly cutting seonghwa off. "i! will! not! ever! think! like! that! please trust me, seonghwa, but none of your worries are true. and they will never be. i understand how you feel, really. i'm quite confused about my feelings too... but hearing you say this, i'm quite assured. i, too, also want to keep seeing you satisfied and happy face whenever you present your meals to me. i wanna protect you too, and shower you with happiness and... and love," he mumbled the last words, but it was still within hearing range. upon hearing this, seonghwa smiled.

"i'm glad... i really am. thank you, hongjoong. i'm really so thankful... thank you for transferring. thank you for accepting me. thank you for not listening to the rest... thank you for feeling this way," seonghwa lowered his head into hongjoong's chest once more, burying his head into his embrace.

"i must also thank you for accepting me into your life. for opening up to me. for being my roommate. for being warm with me. i don't really know what this feeling is, but i really wanna say i love you so much. right now. i love you to death,"

"... i love you too,"

and another round of sobbing starts, as hongjoong panics and tries to calm seonghwa down again.

[a/n: i'm so sorry i suck at these kind of emotional things!!!! this 'short' story is gonna end soon! prolly in a few more chapters. i'm also currently working on a woosan story, but of course i'm focusing on this first! pls let me know if there are any mistakes! thank you for reading owo uwu loves to y'all]