Moving on is hard.
It takes weeks, months and sometimes even years of constant inner courage to just keep moving forward.. DON'T look back.
Today I'm struggling.
I don't know what has triggered the sudden sadness that drowns my being today other than my heart crying out in pain from missing you.
I shouldn't.
You've done me so wrong... so many times, but yet I still love you.
It's been almost a year now.
A year of you and I being enemies instead of lovers.
A year of me finding someone new, of trying my damn near hardest to forget you and our memories.
A year of a constant battle between letting the new guy love me the way you should have all along and just running back into your arms.
Because that's where I'm happiest.. is in your arms.
I know I shouldn't feel this way.. I have a boyfriend, a baby daddy, a man. He's someone I can rely on, and God only knows how that man loves me. He would do anything and everything just to see me happy.
I am happy... sometimes.
Other times I'm like I am today... letting sadness overtake me, letting my thoughts wreck my mind.
God, I miss you.
I won't go back, I know that much. I'm just silently praying for the day that I finally can think of you and not have heart throbbing pain, and not wish for things to be different.
You can't erase the past and start over no matter how badly you wish you could some days.
After all, you were the love of my fucking life... and how do you continue to live without the love of your life when he was the very reason you were living in the first place?
God, I'm hurting so badly today... please just save me.
YOU ARE READING
The Diary of Her
Poetry"I let her go because I knew she could do better. And now she's gone. I wonder if I should've just been better."
