I told my friend today that I was losing my mind... oh, how I wish she understood to what extent.
It's not just having bad days and you go a few days and you're okay again, no.
I'm have tremendous chest pains.
That's how I know it's getting bad again like last time.
I can't have one single day without my heart feeling like it's breaking out of my chest.
I'm tired... not the pregnancy tired where my body needs rest, but it's a mental tiredness. A kind of tired when your mind can't escape itself.
I don't want to even exist some days...
Why. Why am I at my lowest when I have so much in life to look forward to?
What's going to make this better?
What's going to make me better?
I NEED to be better.
I want it more then anything else right now.
I try.
I wake up every single day and put a forgery smile on my face.
I fake it... I fake it so well. I've been faking it for months now, and the worst part? No one has noticed. No one has noticed that I haven't been myself or that I haven't been "happy"
Do you even remember me happy?
I don't.
YOU ARE READING
The Diary of Her
Poetry"I let her go because I knew she could do better. And now she's gone. I wonder if I should've just been better."
