What If

Chapter 1

The excitement of the last day of school fills the air. My classmates, running from one friend to another, frantically trying to fill their yearbooks with final messages before we left school for break. Me? I am heading for the gate – my yearbook already filled with messages from those who matter, I just want to leave and call it quits for the semester. Sophomore year wasn't too bad but the dread of Junior year and all the things that come with having to plan my entire future in one year was daunting, and I am looking forward to one final summer before things got too serious. I snap out of my stressed, future obsessed frame-of-mind when I near the gate, look up and immediately my world is calmer. Why? Because Sebastian Hall, my best friend since Kindergarten, always seems to be able to knock me down from the heights of any panic attack, sometimes as easily as with a simple, slightly crooked smile.

Time has been kind to both of us – we finally grew into our unruly curls, although Sebastian was luckier since he's able to keep his hair short. Me? I'm still dealing with long, frizzy curls – someday, I'll get the hang of them. I'm sure Sebastian was happy to hit a growth spurt in middle school and finally passed me by about 5" and he still has a good year or so to grow a little bit taller. Thankfully, his mom stopped dressing him in early primary school – no more sweater vests and collared shirts and therefore, no incessant torture from me. Good sense of style, boyish charm and good looks...Sebastian is coming into his own.

"Hey Seb," I say as I see him standing in the place he always waits for me after school so we can walk home together, "Sorry I'm late, got a little side tracked."

"No problem, Em. I wasn't waiting too long. Plus watching these guys run around with their yearbooks, crying and taking selfie after selfie is pretty entertaining." Sebastian isn't an overly sentimental guy. Sure, I caught him tearing up at the occasional rom-com but he would never admit it...always quick to wipe away a tear or two before saying how stupid and unrealistic the story is – as he so often said, 'who gets the object of their affection all the time anyway?'

Almost immediately, our end-of-day recap conversation starts. The outside observer would probably think the two of us are the slowest walkers on the planet. It seems to take us forever to walk two blocks but we need to fit in as much as we can before we hit the point where we go our separate ways. Of course, we can chat on the phone until we get home but there is something special about our in-person conversations, even if they are about nothing.

"So how'd the project go for English?" I didn't share many classes with Sebastian. I'm a ridiculous overachiever and found myself in the more advanced classes. Not to say Sebastian was any less smart, he just didn't apply the same level of importance on school as I do. I was genuinely curious how his semester was and wondered if we'd end up sharing more classes next year – always nice to have a familiar and comforting face in class.

"It was alright. I think I got a solid C which is all my parents really care about anyway. No failing grades and nothing higher than a B because otherwise they'd think I was cheating." he said with a laugh.

"Well, nice to know you at least took it somewhat seriously."

"Eh, as seriously as I needed to so I could avoid your nagging to get it done on time." I don't nag, I remind...a lot. Why can't he get those two straight?

"And what about you? How'd the presentation go?" Sebastian knew I was nervous about this presentation. Not because of the content, he knew I had that locked down. We had some issues with our group, not everyone was available to meet for the final presentation and on top of that, the act of presenting in front of my peers is still somewhat terrifying.

"We were amazing," I said sarcastically, "No but honestly, it went really well. I'm sure we'll end up with a pretty high grade...we all pulled our own weight, even Jacob."