What If

Chapter 3

First day of Junior year. We stand at the gate, staring into the school as kids filed in around us. Sebastian breaks the silence, "Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

It feels like so much time has passed since we left this place and now we're back to start all over again, except this year, the stakes are higher. I take in the scene around me. Incoming Freshman, even Sophomores, look so small compared to the Juniors and Seniors. I don't remember being that small...how did we make it, being the small fish in a big pond filled with much bigger fish? 

Comparing ourselves to the younger kids, I can tell how much Sebastian and I changed over the summer. Gone are our childish looks, this year we look like young adults. Taller, well, Sebastian anyway, leaner and overall, more mature. We've even somehow managed to find a sense of style while we were on break. Not to mention we both tamed our curls, more my triumph than Sebastian's since my long hair requires the right combination of hair product and he can look like he's just rolled out of bed and his hair is still on trend.

I tighten the strap of my bookbag, grab Sebastian's arm and walk into school. We tend to turn heads while walking arm-and-arm but this is normal for us, just something we've done since we were kids. I've heard people talk and rumors fly that we're together and obviously we ignore them, we're just really close friends. But this time, I can feel more eyes on us than usual. I nonchalantly look around as we walk in and it seemed like every girl's eyes are peeled on Sebastian. I get it, even I can see he's gotten quite handsome over the summer. But the surprising things is, I notice a few boys looking my way too. Flattering but not anything I need to pay attention to this year.

"What's your schedule look like?" I grab Sebastian's class list and am slightly disappointed, but not entirely surprised. All his classes are expected for our year, but nothing shared with me apart from homeroom. At least we are able to start our day together.

"Let me guess, you have all the nerd classes, right?"

"Better than you. Looks like you're spending all day in shop and woodworking." I reply sarcastically.

Too busy chatting to pay attention to where we are walking and completely dependent on Sebastian's navigation skills, I accidentally bump into someone in a rush. It was like slamming into a wall. Stopping dead in my tracks, I look up and see Jacob. He changed over the summer too, how is it possible for him to be better looking than last year? He looked a bit taller, his jawline and chin more defined and face, more handsome than I've ever seen. But his eyes, still hidden behind that flop of hair... are dark, tired...he seems distracted.

I steadied, a little shaken by the impact and slightly in awe of how he's changed. "Um. Oh my gosh. Hey Jacob! I'm so sorry. I should pay more attention to where I'm going." I glance at Sebastian since I rely on him to guide me through the halls if I'm preoccupied. I'm sure the blush in my cheeks are giving me away so I brush my hair behind my ear as a distraction.

I notice Sebastian, still holding my arm, straighten his posture and stand at attention. "Yeah, sorry, I should've steered her out of your way." His voice sounds strange...gruff, a little deeper than normal.

Jacob briefly looked at Sebastian but quickly came back to meet my gaze. "It's OK. I wasn't paying attention either, so no one's fault. Emma, it's good to see you."

"Good to see you too, Jacob."

There is so much more I want to ask – how was your summer? Why didn't you reach out? Are you OK? He looks so sad, like he needs a hug – but I feel a tug on my arm.