The Jealousy Game

Eleven - Drunken Declarations

I am pretty much eating my weight in ice cream. As if being attacked isn't enough, my lifelong crush has basically said he only views me as a sister, and will never see me as anything more, which has completely shattered my dreams.

"Ugh!" I moan through a mouthful of cookie dough for the hundredth time today.

This is much worse then the friend zone! At least friends always have a chance of becoming something more (even if that chance is minuscule), but with family, (unless you're a sick perv) that's all you can be, and all you will ever think to be. I just couldn't face going to class today knowing there was a chance I would see Zander and Viv together. They certainly looked pretty comfy at the party!

I have always been in love with Zander, and hearing him talk so brutally and surely has really done a number on my heart. Suddenly the hope I have always had that we will end up together and are destined soulmates is not as strong.

I have been nothing but an ignorant fool with her head in the clouds, and have finally landed back on earth with a painful bang. Waverly stayed home with me this morning like the sweetheart she is, and she tried to stay home this afternoon too, but I know how much uni and getting good grades means to her so I forced her to go. I should probably go too, but I cannot summon the will to get off the couch. As much as I don't want to see Zander, I don't want to see Sheub even more. He is the reason I wake up covered in sweat in the morning. I know he only stole a kiss, but pondering over how much worse it could've been and how vulnerable I was gives me chills. The 'what if's' are constantly plaguing my mind, and I know I am just delaying ripping the band aid off by avoiding him, but for now I am more settled and peaceful this way.

I have decided to be productive and catch up on some laundry and housekeeping while Waverly is gone though, so the day is not completely wasted. I also still have one last pesky box of belongings to unpack. I'm a procrastinator, I know. After scrubbing the apartment clean and finally sorting out the lurking pile of clothes on my fluffy desk armchair, I decide to put 'The Avengers' on - my favourite movie ever - as I do what I hate most in the world - ironing. Coulson's death hits me in the heart every time.

Once the ironing is done and Loki is apprehended (he is totally my third favourite character in the franchise) I get on with cooking dinner for us. Nothing too fancy mind; I can just about prepare spaghetti and meatballs to an edible level. By the time Waverly arrives home, I feel like a proper little housewife, and I feel a little better after a productive day. Not that I want to be like this all the time... the wife life is going to be limited to two days a week. It is so much effort! However, even though I can kind of fool myself that I am ok, every time I think of Zander a stab of ice strikes my heart, which is literally every second. If only I could erase him and my feelings from my memories.

"Hey honey how're you feeling now?" Waverly asks as she drops her bag on the floor and heads over to give me a hug as I stir the sauce.

"Hey I'm ok thank you... How was college?" I ask as I hug her back then she reaches up to retrieve a glass from the cupboard.

"It was very interesting! We are learning all about the mind at the moment. Did you know that the term 'mind' is from the Old English gemynd, or 'memory,' and the Proto-Indo-European verbal root men-, meaning 'to think, remember?'" Waverly reveals excitedly whilst my brain retracted into itself screaming 'too many words'.

"Oh wow. That's cool." I hum.

"Also if you ever have children you should definitely make sure to sign them up for music lessons. It has been proven that children who learn to play a musical instrument can develop their mental skills further than those who don't!" She exclaims as she pours herself a glass of water.