sʜᴀᴛᴛᴇʀɪɴɢ [Kingdom of Loathing fanfiction]

Chapter 9

Coping with the Knob Goblin King

***

I knocked on the Council's door. Once they invited me to come in, I pressed on the door with my broken shoulder and all my might and pushed it open.

"I'm here," I said while posing my bag down the floor.

"Greetings, Sonja," Parmesan greeted me. He then examined me. "It looks like you are hurt."

"Yeah, I got my shoulder dislocated because of some foe, during a quest. I might need Musicals to-"

"You mean, myself ?" Parmesan stood up and directed himself to a shelf full of raw ingredients contained in jars, such as herbs, tomatoes, spices and more. I blinked in confusion.

"Let's see... a healing potion..."

He picked some of the ingredients (I saw he was picking basil, grated cheese and pine nuts) and a sauce pan. Then, he put the ingredients in it and pulled what seemed to look like spoon (but it was actually a circular wand) from his waistbelt and mixed them. A weak light came from the sauce pan. Once it gloomed off, he checked his recipe a last time.

''This should do... here. Drink this.''

He handed me the sauce pan. I took it and checked what was inside. A green mix was in it.

''Uh... may I ask what this is ?''

''Don't ask any question and drink.'' Parmesan replied sternly. ''I can explain to you afterwards if you prefer.''

I shrugged and poured the mix down my throat. It was somewhat cheesy, and may I say, it was hella tasty. I waited for a little moment, before I felt a sudden click in my body. It was as if my shoulder connected with my whole body again. I stretched, sighing in relief.

''Whoa, that sure worked ! Now I feel better than ever. Thanks !''

''You are welcome.'' he paused. ''Pesto potion. Useful to restore energy, cure from illness and heal other wounds than external. The effect depends on the additional ingredients you add. This recipe serves for all Saucerores.''

''Now, it sure looks like you are revitalized !'' Frostbite rejoiced, clapping hands.

''Speaking of which. The quest.'' I reminded while giving back the sauce pan to Parmesan.

''Ah, yes. The quest.'' He readjusted his glasses. ''We called you for the Knob Goblin King has as plans to send his men to Seaside Town to capture ours. What we know is that if there is no more King, there will be no more orders. See what I try to mean there.''

''I have to go to the Knob to take down the King ?''

''Quite exactly. Though, you don't have to feel obliged to slain him,'' Wild continued. ''And there's not only that. We tried sending someone there already, but they haven't given any news till recently, where we heard that they got caught by the guards.''

''A fellow Adventurer ? That's no problem, I'll save them too.''

''We thank you for your kindness.'' Glamour said warmly.

Parmesan turned around again, giving me a sheet of paper, as well as a hairband with... horns.

''Here, take this,'' he said. ''On the paper is written a decoding key. If you have travelled around the outskirts of the Knob already, you should know that the goblin language is a very complex one.''

''I could tell. But... what about the horns ?''

''To make sure you infiltrate in the throne room safely. You will have to dress as a fellow goblin to come inside it. Beware, the King is quite a cautious man. He can be suspicious himself, as well.''