sʜᴀᴛᴛᴇʀɪɴɢ [Kingdom of Loathing fanfiction]

Chapter 20

Kuma

***

My path was sought by two main things : Yetis that I could eventually fight for fur, and the other being me freezing myself to damn hell, despite all the furcoats I might have done with all the fur I've collected.

''It's as freezing as the Guild's cave here !'' I complained but still moved foward anyway. There was a way stronger blizzard than down on the slope, and it didn't arrange the situation if you add the fact that avalanches occured here and there, but far away enough for me to witness them afar.

After what seemed to be years of climbing, I finally reached the summit of Mt. McLargeHuge, and started searching through the mists for the source of the mists. What I found instead was the source of the sudden startled feeling as a massive winged yeti-like creature startled me while I entered a snowy cave. I blinked at it while it growled lowly to my direction.

"Hey, little fella !" I said, in a tone I hoped was gentle and reassuring but was probably just patronising. "What's your name, buddy ?"

"GROAR." was all the creature answered, sending two chills down my spine: one metaphorical, because he sure was scary and about to attack me, and the other physical, because he also blasted me with a cloud of intensely cold mist when he roared.

''I guess that answers the question of where the mists are coming from. And what I'm going to be doing for the next few minutes...?''

Rather unexpectedly, dark stormclouds rolled in from the north, blotting out the clear dark sky, as Groar was about to charge at me. There was a sudden crash of thunder, and here I heard, somewhere close by, a bestial howling that sent more shivers down my spine. Adrenaline pumping, I tried to pinpoint the source of the noise. Groar did too. Raven buzzed around me, seemingly looking for either warmth or comfort. But definetly not for a pray. I heard it again, closer this time, and this time... in stereo ? -- Not sure how to explain it. Then, as sudden as it could be, something bit on Groar's leg. The yeti-wiged creature took a deep breath-in, sucking back all this mist that was covering the peak that was coming from him, before it got dragged away by the monstrous thing that was now shaking it's victime like a little ragdoll. Nature's rules, I'll wager. The enormous thing played with it for a good'ol time, biting and tearing it apart, before it got rid of it by throwing Groar (or at least what was left of him) to the side. I heard a very last, low growl. I could now see the silhouette of what was attacking. My stomach turned to ice -- could it be...?

''Oh god... I... I can't believe it !!! It's Agag-... Agragag-... wait, Argargaragaga-... FUCK. It's HIM !!'' I shouted while the creature revealed itself.

Lightning striked, momentarily blinding me, and then... there he was, towering over me, the ravenous, two-headed monstrosity : Argarggagarg, the Dire Hellseal ! (looks like you missed some seals there, Allison.) -- I could say it properly this time, for I could read the name and pronounce it correctly. Now then, a little bit of context, as you're probably wondering how come I was that scared of such a creature.

If murderous beasts like Gorgolok could be said to have lieutenants, then Argarggagarg is it ; they say he was the only seal ever to challenge Gorgolok's authority as alpha male and survive the ensuing battle. His black hide was scarred from the dozens -- hundreds ! -- of attempts made to destroy him, certainly by my fellow clubbers, none of whom came back alive. Here and there an ancient broken spear juted out of Argargaggarg's hide as testament to his indomitability. Two pairs of hellishly glowing red eyes now glared at me ; two horribly-fanged maws drooled. Now, this was probably gonna suck bigtime.

''Well then... no time for me to lay back-'' but that's what I did, for a gigantic, black flipper was about to slap me straight in the face. Thankfully, I could dodge it in time.