sʜᴀᴛᴛᴇʀɪɴɢ [Kingdom of Loathing fanfiction]

Chapter 17

Mourn, the imp otent

***

I closered myself to Mourn and waved at him. He gasped at my sight.

''O-Oh ! You came back !'' he said while he rushed to me for a hug. ''I really thought you would never come back ! I... I was so worried...''

''Looks like I am back now,'' I said with a soft smile. ''And I think I've got just the thing for you.''

His eyes lit up when I stood in front of him and I rose my hilarious comedy prop up. 

"Hey, you look a little unstable... let me prop you up !"

"Not bad," Mourn said, giggling a little. "That wasn't enough laughter for me to tell your fortune, but it's enough for this :" he held out his hands. I reached mine to hold his. He closed his eyes and green light flashed from them. I then felt a little wiser, stronger, and cooler than I did a minute ago.

''Whoaaaa... that's a cool buff up you've got there ! How did you get that ?!''

''O-Oh... well, it's nothing much, y'know... some kind of ability granted by my overlord when I fell down there.''

''Hehe... think I can get another one ?''

''I don't know... for another good laugh~?''

''Oh, what a little player !''

I pinched his cheek gently, and he winced, pulling my hand away from his face. He tugged on his sleeves, the time I pulled out the puppet, and tried making the hellhound's weird quasi-BorderTown accent. 

"Hey, those are some nice horns you have... FOR ME TO DOUSE IN FLAMING SULFUROUS URINE !"

Mourn chuckled appreciatively. A smile formed on my face.

"Ah," he said, "insults are always funnier when they're coming out of a puppet's mouth, aren't they ? Anyway, your fortune : I predict that your fortune will increase in the near future."
Mourn winked at me, then tossed a few Meat stacks my way.

''Whoa- hey, but that's Meat there ! I thought you guys trade with something else ??''

''Like what ?''

''Like... I dunno, sins ?'' Mourn rose his eyebrow.

''Sins ? We don't trade in Sins here in Hey Deze. Asides some... really, really shady guys...''

''Yeah, like the one I saw back there for the talisma...!''

''Shoot, the talisman, I almost forgot it !'' I thought, clapping my hand on my forehead.

''What's up ?''

''Uh, nothing, it's just I...'' I thought of an excuse before saying : ''I totally forgot to introduce myself ! I know I'm only a stranger to you, but hey ! Gotta be formal in life.''

''... Uh-huh.''

''My name is Sonja ! And I am... well, undamned, as you would say-''

''Hm, I could tell.''

''Anyway, uh- oh, before I forget ! I think I have a last thing that might blast your spirits off !''

''Really ? I'm curious about it.''

I winked at him and took Larry's glasses and wore them. I cleared my throat then said, taking his boring intonation :

"So, how about those G Imps ? I mean, they're always wearing those rubber masks with the zippers on the mouth ! What's the deal with that ?"