Shadows

Faces, Faces… so many faces… why can’t they just leave me alone!

Sitting bolt upright in my bed I realised it was nothing more than another nightmare, a nightmare about them… those who taunted me every day.

My name is Victoria Cruz, you’re average looking every day run of the mill teenager… except for the fact I have been self-harming for years now, and I have more self-inflicted scars than I care to count.  Now as for the rest of me? Well I have long, black hair which reaches my shoulders, light blue eyes; I’m fair skinned… even though I have been compared to Casper a lot… I am 5’4 and I am extremely skinny… I think that sums it all up.

  Now l have nightmares these days about 3 maybe 4 times a week, and they’re usually about the people who bullied me from school but it’s not your usual ‘you’re a slag’ kind of bullied… I was thrown against walls, stones thrown at me, pushed in the bushes, kicked, punched… you name it, it’s happened to me. But they never hit me in the places that showed evidence… oh no they were too smart for that… my face was never touched… and they would always threaten to make it worse if I ever ‘grassed them up’, typical of a bully won’t you agree? But as I was saying, these nightmares are about them… they messed with my head as well as my body. I self-harm because it’s a release from the pain… a release from all the upset… tragic isn’t it?

  Breaking out of from this chain of thought I rolled out of bed, yawned and stretched upwards feeling the bones click along my back before slumping back down. Glancing around my room I grunted, the place was a right shit tip… when was the last time I had cleaned this place? In fact when was the last time I went out? Shrugging my shoulders I slugged my way over to my wardrobe and began to search my way through the masses of clothes before settling on black leggings, a strapless puffy long top, purple jumper and black ankle boots. Before getting changed however I wanted a shower… I bloody stank this morning! So I walked out my room and straight into my little sister Hannah

“Sorry Han” I exclaimed, louder than I wanted it to be

“S’okay” she muttered back

“Do you need the bathroom or?” I began

“No, it’s ok” she said with a gesture of her hand, I knew she wanted a shower as much I did… but she said I could go in first...

  Once inside I shut the door, flicked the lock then waltzed on over to the sink, where the mirror was to check my reflection. My eyes were droopy, puffy and red… did I cry in my sleep? Frustrated I walked over to the shower, turning it on with a scowl then tapped my foot with impatience as I waited for the water to warm… I’m not a morning person. Once the water was warm however my clothes flew off my back in a fluster and I jumped on in, reaching to the side of me I grabbed the shower gel, squeezed some onto my hand then began to scrub, working the gel into a nice lather that left my skin feeling and smelling fresh. Looking down at the scars on my legs I couldn’t help but feel depressed… why did I let them get to me? Why was I so foolish?

  There was a knock on the door, guess I lost track of time. Quickly I turned the water off, dried myself off with a towel, got changed and unlocked the door; quickly Hannah barged her way in… rude much?

“Excuse me would be nice”

“Don’t take so damn long… some of us still have School ya know?” she scowled, boy she was bitchy when she wanted to be. I just shook my head at her and went back to my room, I guessed Hannah was one of ‘popular’ kids long ago when she started having a different guy come here almost every day… it was sickening to tell the truth. Now, just by looking at our parents you would know Hannah was there child… I on the other hand might as well say I’m adopted… I look nothing like them, I don’t act like them… we don’t even have anything in common for pities sake!