Shadows

I believe you're familiar with the waltz?

“Do I have to?” 

“Yes, you can learn how to Waltz in the olden manner. Not this new-fangled way that you learned” he grabbed my hands and led me to the centre of the floor. I placed my one hand on his shoulder whilst he placed his on my waist whilst our other hands clasped together. I couldn’t stop the blush that was forming on my face as he beamed down at me with a little twinkle in his eye. He nodded to his mother to start the music, it was classical and orchestral music, something that I would listen to only if I were painting or writing… which wasn’t often anymore.

“Remember to let me lead” he noted to which I rolled my eyes at, one step back, to the side, forward, to the side, backward, spin and turn in elegance. He thought my method was new… how can a waltz be updated? It was a classical dance and should be learned in a classical manner.

  I remembered back to when we had our first school dance, I practically begged Hannah to practise with me. Now being the total loner that I was, I thought that the school dance meant… well formal. So using some stuff from the internet and having Hannah as a dance partner, I learnt how to Waltz. I headed to the dance in a floor length dress, my hair pinned up and sprayed with I don’t know how many coats of lacquer, but was disappointed and embarrassed to find all the girls in knee length dresses, high heels, faces like tangerines and they were slut dropping and grinding. That night I must have spent 10 minutes there in total before I started making my way home. I thought my luck couldn’t get any worse. Well I was wrong there… I ended up bumping into this guy that I had liked for a really long time, he seemed nice enough, complimented me on my dress and how beautiful I looked. I knew he was drunk and this may seem all fine and charming to most but when I said I just wanted to go home, he grabbed my arm and threw me against the wall. I wanted to scream at him but he held his hand to my mouth and pressed his knee against my stomach, using his free hand he began to reach under my dress… I won’t go into any more detail but I will inform you that I was raped that night.

  Once he was done with me, he said there was no point telling anyone about this as they would never believe a loser like me. He said that by the off chance they did, he would make me pay. I felt cheap, dirty and violated. Nothing will ever scrub that reminder off me. I lost my virginity and my pride to a guy I thought was different from all the rest… but he turned out to be nothing more than a monster. Once I was tidied up I ran home, crying all the way. I didn’t talk to my parents but instead decided to take a bath, scrub my body. I put disinfectant in the water…. As if that would do anything. Feeling that nothing would ever work I grabbed one of the razors and sliced away. The disinfectant sunk into the wounds which heightened the pain, it even made the blood flow quicker… It had to be one of the worst days of my life.

  My mind cleared, the thoughts subsided and I was brought back to the unique ballroom. Dante stared at me with worried eyes but I smiled which seemed to reassure him. I knew he found it difficult to not read my mind, but when I start remembering things that I had sworn to keep buried… especially things like that, then it was a good thing I had that ability.

“Are you ok?” he whispered as we twirled

“Yes, just lost in thought for a moment there”

“Well for someone distracted, you sure do dance fine and dandy” he winked

“You ain’t seen nothing yet mister. Just tell me what’s next”

“I won’t be teaching you the next dance. That is Dimitri’s job”

  Just as he had said, Dimitri taught me the next three dances which were; the foxtrot, the Polka and  La Volta which was most embarrassing to do I must admit. After a very short break I was whisked away by Darius who showed me the Polonaise dance with the help of the others, two step, one step and countless more which I can’t remember the name of.  My head was spinning and every muscle in my body hurt as though someone had stuck a thousand knifes everywhere. None the less I felt extremely happy and proud that I had done well. Darius tormented me on how, considering I was a Dhampir that he found it shocking I was out of breath so quickly,