Chasing Dylan

Chapter Twelve

I sat down in my father's office across from him. He looked upset, showing more emotion on his face than I had seen in a while. He looked at me, his hazel eyes filled with sadness.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked.

He sat up straight, fiddling with the pen on his desk.

"Eliza won't be a problem for you anymore. Her and I talked, things will change in this house, so you don't need to worry about her."

"Okay." I said, uninterested. A woman that evil would never change. No matter how many talking to's she was given.

My father looked like he wanted to say something, but seemed nervous.

"Was that all?" I asked.

He looked into my eyes, pained.

"Dylan why didn't you ever say anything to me, if I knew-" He shook his head, unable to finish his sentence.

If he knew then what? Would he have divorced Eliza? Would he had stopped going on all of those business trips and leaving me with people that hated me? Would he have actually treated me like I was his daughter? I don't think he would've done any of that, because I don't think he even loves me.

I took a deep breath, staring back at him and said "I didn't tell you, because I don't tell you anything. We don't talk. We don't have a relationship."

He looked taken aback by my statement, and I continued, tears welling up in my eyes. "Ever since mom died, you have barely even looked at me. You don't know who I am, and I definitely don't know who you are. I couldn't even tell you one thing that I know about you, and I'm sure you could say the same. It's been almost twelve years and honestly it feels like you died with her. The dad I knew then is not the man sitting in front of me now. When mom was alive, you loved me, but I guess that love died with her." I said, finally wiping my tears away.

His eyes were filled with tears as he tried to blink them away.

"Dylan, I am so sorry you feel like you don't have a dad." He began to cry. "When your mother died, I felt like a part of me died. You're right, I am not the same man anymore, I am a broken man, and I have been broken for the past twelve  years. Your mom was the kindest, most caring, most beautiful woman I had ever known, and it tore me apart when she passed. I have tried every day to forget her, so I wouldn't feel this way anymore, but nothing has worked. I literally married the complete opposite of her, just so I wouldn't think about her anymore and have my heart break all over again. I think that's the reason I've pushed you away for so long. Dylan you remind me so much of you mom it hurts, you have her beauty, her smarts, and her heart. I've kept you at arms length for most of your life because you are the only part of her I had left. I know now that that was a mistake. I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry." He cried.

At this point I was sobbing, I've haven't seen my father cry since my mom's funeral. I never understood why he treated me this way, but now everything made sense. I reminded him of her, and he wanted to forget her. What he did to me was very wrong, but now I understand. He was in pain, and so was I. I handled my pain by bottling it up inside, and he handled his by trying to forget the woman he lost.

I got up and wrapped my arms around him. He held me tight, his face buried in my curls.

"Please forgive me Dylan, please, I promise you that things will be different. I want to be your father again. I'm sorry." He continued to cry.

I nodded my head on his shoulder.

"I forgive you dad, I do." I finally responded. And I did, I truly forgave him. It would take a long time to form a relationship with him, but at least this was a start.