Sometimes I wonder what would happen if nothing happened instead.
The day we met was one like any other, but so different. When you appeared at my door, it was something so foreign and peculiar to me, something I wanted to try so desperately.
Compassion.
Happiness.
Comfort.
It was destructive of me, of course, since I had no idea what would occur to me in the way I viewed myself. It would all disappear, just like that.
The black paint smeared across my cheek in agreement, dripping onto my feet. Lazily, I dotted my face with white specs, throwing white spots across the room. Glancing in the mirror, I only saw a shadow of who I once was, the picture of who I was becoming. It pained me that a single word could change everything, that it doesn't need to be this way.
Of course, it was always going to be this way.
Your true colors were what I least expected, what I have come to despise.
Hate is such a strong feeling, one that drags you down and takes your kindness with it. That's why I could never feel that way about you, no matter all the pain, sadness, anger you caused. It's simply too much to give you when I have already given all of myself to you in the past. You don't deserve any of me again, whether it's before or after the truth.
One simple word, that's all it would take.
But the day that happens, it'll be too late.
YOU ARE READING
Colors Behind the Glass ✓
Poetry[COMPLETED] Lonnie has been through several life-changing events. The most impactful is the death of their abuelita and the loss of someone close to them as they came out as non-binary. They have struggled with coming to terms with these two facts...
