Access Denied [J. JK FF : Completed✔]

46. Guilty

Jungkook is taken aback for a while before he breaks into giggles.

"I know that, and I love you too~" He ruffles my hair before booping my nose.

Aw.

And realisation hits.

What did I say?

I don't even know when I started catching feelings for him. Why? Just why?

This is going to interfere with my work.

And so that night, I decided that I would get this mission done as soon as I can, and then disappear from his life forever.

Staying here isn't right. This isn't meant to be. I- A spy and a Mafia? That is impossible. The future holds nothing. If I keep leading it on, this would hurt him and me.

And that night, I came up with the easiest and fastest way through which I could get over with this mission.

~*~

When the next day dawned, I told Jin everything, first thing in the morning.

"Aww, that's cute Haewon."

"Cute? How is falling for your enemy cute to you? This could sabotage our whole mission!"

"Haewon, you need to rela-"

"I can't relax when I've messed up like this- I can't let our mission fall apart just because of me! You've put in work too and I can't let my feelings ruin everything-"

"Haewon listen-"

"I'm sorry- I should have been more careful. I shouldn't have let myself go. I-"

"Haewon!" I flinch at Jin's sudden raise in voice. I give out a breathy sigh before droplets of tears make their way down my face.

Jin rubs my back while he takes a seat next to me.

"God Haewon, you need to seriously take a break."

"We did that a little while ago." I say.

"I meant, a break from this job."

"But-"

"You need to realise that your life doesn't not revolve around these missions. Yes we help people, yes it's for a good cause, but it doesn't mean that you'll chuck away your personal life because of it-"

"I haven't chucked away my personal life-"

"Yes because you don't have one anymore!"

Seeing that I was quietly listening, he continues.

"You're 24 for God's sake! You haven't seen your friends in years, always kept yourself away from boys and girls. I know it still hurts you, this world hurt you but not engaging in it will not help you get the world back at its game.

Stop feeling guilty because you like someone. It's something all humans go through. I thank god that you finally have feelings for someone, I was starting to think you're asexual!"

"Hey...that's a little mean."

"No, you need to stop running away!"

"Jin....it'll only hurt me when this will be over..." I whimper while digging my face into my palms.

"Who says heartbreak isn't evident Haewon? Stop running and face it. Face it that you are not a damn machine but a human who can feel Haewon!"

I look up to him, his eyes showcased frustration. They were challenging eyes. They were challenging me to do what he is asking me to do.

"I- I'll think about it....right now, we need to go to the agency. I need to talk to Minseok. I think I know how to access that file easily."

"But isn't that dangerous?"

"We could go the the office and from the garage, take a different car and drive there secretively."

"That's right." Jin passes me a tissue.

~*~

"Lyra! Jin! I haven't seen you guys in ages!" Minseok cooes when he sees us enter.

It feels nice to be back, in my suit, in the space that has become so familiar to me in the last 7 years.

"We missed you too Minseok." Jin grins.

Minseok nods before asking us, "how can I help you guys today?"

"So yesterday, I had this idea in my mind and I was wondering if you could bring it to reality." I state and look at him.

We open the hologram screen and Minseok listens to me attentively through out.

"...So if the gadget can be in a shape of something small, like a fly, with camera and x-ray vision- all of which could be controlled, it would make our work really easy."

Minseok nods when I'm done.

"That's a really good idea. Damn, why didn't I think about it?" He grins.

We all laugh a little before coming to the main question.

"So how long do you think this might take to make?" Jin asks.

"Maybe a month or so. I need to run tests and find micro parts or make them so it would take time."

Jin and I look at each other.

"Alright, it's better than nothing." I shrug.

"I'll have it delivered to you at your office in the form of a package or parcel. And I would text you before I send it." Minseok says while typing something. The hologram screen shows the diagram of a fly.

We see Minseok pull out a white board and pen.

"I think he is starting to do the calculations, we should go back to the office." Jin says and I agree.

After waving goodbye to Minseok, we head back straight.

~*~

Jin's words keep on swirling around my head.

What should I do?

I don't know when, how, what happened.

That night...when we shared those intimate moments, it sparked something. The sparks spread fire to what I wasn't sure of.

Maybe.....just maybe...

What if I let go?

What if I let myself fall deeper?

What if I let myself trust him and give back the love he gives me?

He is so happy around him...I want to increase that. I want to increase this happiness that he feels.

I don't know, the scars he has, are so similar to mine. His world too was torn down like mine, I wonder if that would help me heal too.

I was supposed to deny your access to me Jungkook. What are you doing to my heart? Why are you making ne question my actions like never before?

What is even your role in my life now?

_________________________________________

BLUE HIGHLIGHTS KOOK IS MY JAM

ON IS MY JAM

HEY NANANA~

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- Sarisha💫