this is real life? >jg<

no way.

chapter 32:

joeys alive.

hes breathing.
hes actually alive.

a sigh of relief came over me but completely ruined
when the doctor said the fragile words

"hes still not awake unfortunately and if he doesnt wake up in at least about 5-6 weeks were going to have to let him go"

im glad joeys alive.

but what if joey doesnt wake up.
i would never see him again.

his face, his smile, never will be able to hear his laugh ever again.

i might be overthinking this. but its hard to take in

i stood up and went inside his room
still there.
hooked up in machines and wires.

i walk up to him.

theres a possibility that he can hear me.

"joey, i know you can possibly hear me right now. and well doctors have told me literally just like five seconds ago that if you dont wake up in 5-6 weeks your gone..."

"i dont want you to be gone. people need to you here. laughing,smiling,breathing. i need you here."

"theres so much to miss about you and i dont want those things to be in the past and forgotten, i want them to be memories that i will remember."

"please wake up. i dont want you gone. i want you with me smiling and having the time of our lives."

i hold his hand and get down on my knees
i rest my head on his hand and hold his hand tight feeling that if i let it go i will loose him.
i felt his hand grip tighter
i lift my head but nothing has changed
his hand is still lifelessly in mine

all these visions i hear and feel are driving me crazy
and make me think

that what if this was just a twisted dream
and that ill wake up and everything is still the way it was

id be either in my bed doing completely nothing or hanging with sergio.

i would love and hate it.

i would love because joey wouldnt be in the hospital laying in bed
connected to these wires and machines that i dont even know what they're called

i would hate because all these feeling that i feel for joey may not even be real im just imagining it from the past
and would fade away like leaves that fall off a tree
it would eventually fly away and probably would never be seen ever again.

i ask this question because youll never know the answer.

is this real life?