Always and Forever: Anne with an E

Season 4 Episode 8: Anne with an E

With a  coronavirus lockdown, looks like I'll have some more time to do some writing. Happy reading beautiful people! - rsc

Anne's heart squeezed painfully, maybe Gilbert hadn't messaged her because he didn't want her here. Perhaps she just arrived and he was waiting for her to leave. His mothers ring stared her straight in the face but she couldn't help but feel that even that was not enough. Because right below that were the letters of the woman he would have married. She had never asked him about this before and now she wished she had. Gilbert had stopped sending her letters long before he had gotten sick, Anne knew that to be a solid fact that she didn't have the energy to get into. But now staring at this letter, the self-doubting started again. Anne returned in the room, and did her best to act like the letter had not bothered her, she slipped it under his other letters and placed it on the side table.

"You didn't get tea, Anne?" Gilbert asked breaking her away from the conversation.

"No, they were mopping the floor there, so I decided to leave it" she noted quickly returning to her spot. She continued folding Gilberts shirts and stacking them on his desk, it gave her a minute to suck in some deep breaths and try and overcome the crashing feelings. She managed to stomach a conversation with the blond-haired boy, he was very light-hearted, but because he didn't know Anne, he hadn't even double thought her short-flat answers. As the boys trickled out Anne began attending to her own things.

"There is something wrong? Actually I can see something is wrong, what is it?" he asked confused, she seemed fine until she left for a brief time. Anne shook her head and closed her case. She placed it on the floor and then finally turned to look at Gilbert again.

"My boat is at six in the morning" she added sitting down looking at her thumbs. She hid the ring on her finger away from her attention. "You got some mail" she added looking over at the letters. Gilbert decided not to push the topic on and flicked through the bundle of envelopes. "I didn't realise you were still in touch with Winne" Anne couldn't help but blurt it out, she couldn't even look at him.

"Neither did I" Gilbert opened the letter and skimmed it "she is engaged" he noted quickly, his eyebrow-raising in surprise. Anne let out a relived stress.

"You still want me right Gilbert?" Anne asked almost like a whisper, so quiet so that Gilbert almost missed it.

"Are you kidding, now more than ever." He added, holding out his hand to her. Anne didn't even realise that tears were pouring down her cheeks until she felt arms wrap around me.

"I'm sorry, I'm so tiered" Anne sobbed, lying, she didn't know what else to say. She hugged him back "I am scared, I am scared of what I am feeling" and Anne realised for herself how scared she was. She had always had to push the feeling back and ignore then, so she didn't realise how scary it was giving all those feelings to a single being and giving them the opportunity to leave. But the time had come, Gilbert was fast asleep, and Anne left him a kiss and a note and left Toronto.

Gilbert woke in a daze, he immediately noticed how quiet and empty the room was. It was when his vision came back to him did, he realise it was midmorning, and his Anne was gone. Looking at his side table he noticed a letter and a filled pitcher of water. She had well and truly gone. He felt so irritated, they had discussed their feelings and anxieties, but it wasn't the right time for them to be apart.

Opening the letter, he couldn't help but smile at the familiar handwriting.

My future husband,

Unfortunately for you, you have grown on me. Like leaves on a tree in the spring. After almost losing you completely I realise now how much I need you. Leaving this morning was a painful endeavour but I did not want to wake you.