Ghost In My Head ◆ JungHoseok ✔

10 - Louder Than Bombs, I Sing

I woke up being deeply confused.

It was Sunday afternoon.

Fucking hell.

I slept for ten hours.

The longest time I slept until now had been 6 hours, I think, dreams - or the fear of them - making it close to impossible to get proper sleep for me, not even to mention the fact that I never really liked to stay in one and the same place for longer.

Not only had I slept long, but nightmare-free as well, the night having been calm and, actually, refreshing.

I felt sluggish when I heaved myself out of bed, limbs weak but relaxed from sleep. My eyes wouldn't open properly, wanting to escape the bright light falling through the closed curtains and a small voice in the back of my head was telling me that it would be the best for me to just go back to sleep - and said voice was probably right, but unfortunately was I not as wise.

I was about to grab some clothes and leave, when I spotted a neatly folded pile of fresh clothing at the end of my bed, with something that made me feel awful inside.

On top of the clothes there was a bright yellow sticky note that said in an elegant handwriting: 'you looked so peaceful, didn't want to disturb your sleep <3'.

My first instinct was to cradle the paper and throw it to the corner of the room, where it bounced against the wall and landed back in front of my feet.

It stared down at the cradled note for a moment, before lifting my gaze to the neatly folded clothes and eventually back down to the sticky note. 

That's...actually very sweet of her.

It hurt to admit, but Chungha was an actually good person. A bit naive maybe, and too altruistic for her own good, but she counted to the very small group of people that believed that humanity  was worth to be saved, that there was a good side to every person out there.

And honestly, I knew I should be thankful for having ended up with someone like her. Yet I was rudely pushing her away since the beginning.

I kneeled down and took the yellow piece of paper, carefully unfolding it, "I'm sorry, Chungha."

I traced the small heart she'd drawn at the end of the sentence, "You really don't deserve this."

My eyes darted to the closet I had been about to take clothes from, but I quickly changed into the freshly washed ones Chungha had given me instead, putting the note safely in my pocket.

After having completely changed in an intact pair of jeans and a large, grey hoodie I peeked my head outside my room, eyeing the silent corridor that lead outside. I knew, my host mom wouldn't be home right now, Sundays being reserved for the charity work she did at the church.

My thoughts were still feeling sluggish as I stepped outside in the welcoming sun, head feeling like filled with cotton or honey and I had problems processing my surroundings that felt like enchanted.

Enchanted?

There was a melody coming to my mind as I though of this word. A foreign, beautiful one, I'd even call other-worldly.

Pictures of silver lights and in the moon glittering graves flashed through my mind, the faint memory of firm hands holding me.

I stumbled involuntarily when the memories from last night came back, a small gasp leaving my lips.

Oh god

What in hell had I been I thinking?

He knew so much about me now. Way too much.

I wrapped my arms around my frail body, shivering as the uncomfortable, yet familiar feeling creeped up my bones, reeking into every pore of my being. 

More and more memories flooded my brain until-

"I am scared, Flower."

My legs finally gave up and I sat down onto the edge of the pavement, feeling like crying all of a sudden.

Me too, Jung Hoseok. Me too.

Scared of the shadows, scared of my past, scared of trusting people. Scared of ghosts.

I sat there for quite a while, curled up on the pavement, feeling like crying and screaming at the same time, until I calmed down a bit, mind having put every puzzle piece back in order.

Now I was left with an up coming head ache and the burning questions on my tongue I didn't get to ask him yesterday - because I'd low-key fainted out of exhaustion, but I was just trying to forget that.

As my thoughts calmed down, my unstable emotional state developed into a restless, itching one, that was urging me to find Hoseok and to talk to him.

I still had tons of questions left. Like, what he was doing for a living, where he came from and - most importantly - how the fuck he managed to find me every time I got into danger-

oh

OH

A (probably very wise) part of me was screaming that the idea I had just gotten was dumb and suicidal. But that was just a real small part of me, 'cause the rest was patting my literal shoulder for the genius plan that just came to my mind.

I had questions only Hoseok could answer? Well, I surely needed to find him then, right?

The problem was that I didn't have a clue where he could  be right now. The only thing I knew was that every time I had gotten in danger lately, the boy seemed to magically appear out of nowhere, saving the day like the knight in bright shining armor he sure as fuck wasn't.

My only chance of finding him, was to get into a dangerous situation like this.

That was going to be fun.

◆♤❦

I only lately realized my extensive overuse of  commas

xx