Someday

Chapter 10

When I close my eyes it's all dark, and that's when I'm afraid the most ,I had nightmares ever since the incident, often I don't dream images , it's only dark and I hear cries and shouts , it gets too loud and that's when I wake up.

It's 5 AM and I wake up breathing heavily and sweating. At times like this I take pills which calms me down , when it started to get worse , mom and I went to see a psychiatrist, he said it's a trauma experience but thankfully it's not developed to a PTSD.

But I fight it by going to the hospital and being there for people who need support and I love what I do there , that's how I cope, but sometimes I get these nightmares and that means that I still lose some fights.

I get out of bed and open the blue box , and read one of the letters that the unknown person sent to me last year , I often read them and feel okay.

Hi,
Everyone likes dreams , dreams are roads to what we love.
But why when I dream about something I love , it turns out to be a nightmare?
It happens often , but I can't accept that what I love can ever harm me, so why?
I know it caused me pain but that's what happens when we love right?
But why all I can think about is it's pain?
It's hard to let go of it .
But I'm trying .
I want to think about it as a nice dream to have a good night sleep.
I'm sorry again , I hope you don't go through nightmares , just dreams , nice ones.

                                                    Sincerely , J

I take deep breaths , return the letter and the box and went to take a warm shower .
I finished and changed into my clothes , applied some lipgloss and let my long hair down , I go downstairs I find mom , making breakfast .

"Morning mom " I say tiredly.

"Good-morning bella " mom says without looking at me as she places the plate  In front of me.

"Did you like yesterday's dinner?"

"Yes , it was a nice dish yesterday , and the cheese was a nice touch " she says taking a seat .

"What's wrong you don't seem good" mom says worriedly.

"I didn't get enough sleep yesterday" I sigh.

"Are you okay? Do you have your pills?"

"Yeah I do don't worry I'm okay " I say trying to reassure her.

"how about i drive you today? "

"No mum it's okay I called Tyler to pick me up " I say as there was car honking outside and Tyler's voice booming waking up the whole neighborhood.

"And That's my cue " I say , I get up and hug mom then leave.

I walk towards Tyler's car and got in .
" Missed me ?" He says.
I took a while looking at him , he was wearing blue shirt and black jeans , that complimented his golden hair .

"Hmm let me think "

"Nope Not even a little bit " I say putting on the seatbelt.

"Cruel bells , way to go to break my heart" he chuckles as he drives off.

"So , why can't you drive today?" Tyler says turning on the heater.

"Wanted to make use of you as my personal Chauffeur " I tease.

"Very funny " He says rolling his eyes .

Tyler doesn't know about the nightmares , I never did tell him nor Lilly , I kept it to myself , I always did , I don't want to burden them with such things when i can fight it by myself.