J."Dee". // Sanders Sides AU

Chapter 10

TW: Panic attack

"Shut up!"

That scream made Virgil's blood run cold. He froze. That was clearly Damien. And Damien never screamed. Ever. In all honesty, he could swear he had never heard Damien scream. He stayed frozen in place for nearly 30 seconds, not knowing what to do nor how to react. But Damien screaming could only mean one thing... something was extremely wrong with him.

He managed to pull his thoughts together and scrambled to the staircase, running up the seemingly-never ending sets of stairs and getting to the top faster than he'd ever imagined.

He spotted Damien curled up on the floor, hugging his knees tightly close to his chest. He cautiously approached him and kneeled in front of him, trying to make his presence known to avoid scaring him. But Damien didn't seem to notice him. He was shaking, staring ahead and gently rocking back and forth. Oh... that wasn't good. He carefully reached out to his hand, freezing when he touched him and Damien whimpered. He frowned as he could only seemingly watch as his brother trembled in a state of panic he didn't know how to snap him out of. He had seen Damien panic a lot of times. But never like this. He had no idea how to help.

Virgil bit his lip. He had to make Damien notice him. Know that whatever was happening, he wasn't alone. He reached out a bit further and pushed his hair aside carefully. "Damien?" he asked. His voice was soothing and calm. He knew that, if Damien at least heard him, it would help him calm down a bit and come back to reality, even if it was just partially. He decided to keep talking until it worked. "It's Virgil... the annoying puffball," he said with a small smile. "I'm right here with you, Dee. Whatever you're going through, you're not alone, I promise."

Damien looked at him, eyes filled with fear. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He was completely and utterly terrified, in a spiraling state of panic. And Virgil hated seeing his brother like that, so he moved closer, sitting beside him and pulling him close, hugging him gently. "I-" He whimpered.

Virgil shook his head. "It's okay, Dee," he said softly. "I'm here and nothing will happen to you," he said. "Do you want me to go get Roman?" he asked, starting to pet his hair. Damien didn't respond, he just gripped Virgil's hoodie, not wanting him to go away. He didn't want to be alone with the voice in his head. He didn't want to hurt anyone. "Okay, I'll stay here with you all the time you need," he said reassuringly. He continued petting Damien's hair, hoping to soothe him.

"I- I don't... I don't want to do it..." he stuttered shakily. Virgil frowned, looking down at him as Damien curled up to him.

He felt the need to ask. He couldn't leave the conversation like that. "Do what, Damien?" he asked quietly. He was beyond confused, but he knew that whatever Damien meant, it had to be really bad or he wouldn't be panicking like that.

"Hurt anyone..."

Virgil froze for a moment. Why would he say something like that? Damien would never even dream of thinking that. He would never think of hurting someone. He was too kind and soft. He was never one to have intrusive thoughts... at least never like those.

"Dee... you're not going to hurt anyone, okay? I'll protect you from yourself, I'm right here." He looked up as he heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Oh, my God! What happened?" Roman asked, rushing to them and kneeling in front of them both. "Are you okay, Love?" He ran his hand through Damien's hair gently. Damien leaned into the touch and whimpered. "Virge?" He turned to Virgil, hoping to figure out what had happened to his boyfriend and why he was shaking while curled up to Virgil and whimpering.

Damien looked at Roman as Virgil shrugged. Roman sighed and gently picked Damien up. "It's okay, Love, we've got you," he whispered in his ear. "Everything will be okay." He looked at Virgil and took Damien to his room, setting him on the bed and sitting beside him.

Virgil closed his eyes and took a deep breath before standing up and walking back downstairs as he heard the front door open, meaning Logan and Patton were finally back.

"Just set them on the counter and I'll do the rest, Lo," Patton said as he closed the door. He looked at Virgil and smiled. "Hey, Virge," he said. "How is everything?" he asked, almost cheerfully.

Virgil got to the bottom of the stairs and sighed. "Saying chaotic is nowhere near to what it really is..." he muttered, walking to the living room and sitting on the couch. He looked up as Logan walked to him, tensing up slightly. "Hey, Lo..." he said quietly, quickly looking away.

Logan sat beside him, keeping enough distance to avoid making Virgil uncomfortable. "Virgil," he started, getting Virgil's full attention. He was sure it wasn't too hard to, anyway. "When we were in school last night... I never got to finish my question..." he trailed off.

Virgil looked at him and tilted his head. He swore he could see a faint blush on Logan's cheeks. He bit his lip, holding back a smile. He nodded, letting Logan know he was listening and that he could continue.

"Would you... maybe, like to go out with me...?" he asked nervously. His hands were shaking as much as his voice. He had had a crush on Virgil since they met. He was terrified of rejection at that point. He didn't want to lose what he had with Virgil and potentially with Damien.

Virgil looked at him, his eyes widening as Logan spoke, not noticing him waiting for an answer. He felt his heart beating out of his chest and a smile tugging at his lip. And, before he knew it, he tackled Logan in a hug. "Yes!" he said excitedly, forgetting how anxious he was feeling just a couple of minutes before.

He felt as if nothing bad could happen to any of them. He was happy as Logan hugged him back. He felt safe. They were all safe. Nothing would happen to anyone.