Sam and Colby: The House

12

"What's wrong with you?" Reggie asked, sitting down by my feet. I sat up and looked at him for a second.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean you and Colby aren't glued together right now. How come?" he asked. I let out a short sigh and shrugged.

"I don't know," I lied.

"Well that's complete bullshit," Reggie said. I looked up at the rest of the plane cabin. Everyone was asleep except for Jake, who was air drumming to whatever song was playing in his earbuds. No one could hear us.

"I guess he just treats me like more than I am, you know? Like he's got this whole idea of who I am and thinks I'm just so amazing when I'm not. I'm just normal. And I suck sometimes. Constantly hearing that I'm beautiful or a genius or perfect or whatever just gets to me. Makes me feel inferior, like I'm not living up to who he wants me to be," I said. Reggie sat for a moment, nodding as he processed my words.

"Have you told him you don't like hearing that stuff all of the time?" Reggie asked.

"Sort of. I mean, I tell him that I don't like sappy and cheesy shit. I don't want to be mean or tell him to just stop complimenting me because that's not what I want either, I just want him to see me for what I am," I explained.

"Well, what are you?" he asked.

"I'm...," I trailed off. Huh. That was a good question. "I'm someone who doesn't fit in with you guys."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" asked Reggie. "We started in Kansas, you started in Oklahoma. We both ended up in LA, both ended up doing YouTube stuff. How are you not one of us?"

"I don't know. I guess you guys just have actual talent and I don't. You managed to gain fame and recognition on your own for real things," I said.

"Real thi—Nessa, the last video Jake posted was literally ten minutes straight of him using a paddle ball. He did not say a single word for over ten minutes. I'm not saying it doesn't take talent to do that, because I definitely couldn't, but you're not any less impressive than the rest of us," Reggie said.

"I am, though. I'm not some funny entertaining hotshot. I'm just an attractive walking textbook," I replied. He was quiet again for a minute.

"You don't like being smart?" he asked.

"No, that's not what I said. I love being smart. I just wish I was more like all of you," I explained.

"In what manner?" he asked.

"Like I said. You all do real things. I heard what you said, but Jake is funny. Like, really funny. He's super creative and doing the stuff that he does isn't something everyone could accomplish. Same goes for Colby, Corey, and Sam. They're genuinely funny, creative people. Kevin just radiates this loving energy, Devyn's a makeup artist, Kat's a singer, Tara's got her own company and she's really creative with her channel too, you're one hell of a video editor and fans love you because you're so easy to bully, but I'm just... I'm just a Chanel model that knows too many things," I said.

"Hold on, why do people love me?" he asked.

"You're literally called 'stinky' and 'rat' by at least 40% of the fandom, Reggie. And you know it. And you like it. You think it's fun. I know you do," I replied.

"Okay, yeah, you're right," he said. "But what do you want to be? If not a social media model or a walking textbook or whatever?"

"It's not that I don't want to be those things. Not a lot of brainiacs become models. But I just got lucky. I'm here on chance encounter. I'm just lucky they chose me to start out as a Chanel sales associate. I'm lucky Colby happened to get into my car and think I'm pretty. I'm lucky that the other guys decided they liked me enough to keep me around for a while. I didn't work to get here like you guys. I just sort of woke up one day and everything was magically in place."

"So you're one of those people?" Reggie asked.

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"You know, the whole 'money isn't worth anything unless you've earned it' type people? It might have been luck that you became a sales associate, but there had to be some level of skill or ability to get you promoted to manager. It might have been lucky that Colby got in your car and thought you were cute, but your personality had to be somewhat captivating for him to just leave his phone with you like that. It might have been lucky that you got invited on that trip, but there was absolutely nothing to do with luck in terms of you joining this group.

"We're all pretty damn close. And I know you can see that. We don't just welcome random strangers in, no matter how pretty or smart we think they are. We take in people that we truly love and care about, people we value and want to keep around for a long time. You're not just Colby's girlfriend to us. You're a legitimate part of this family," Reggie said. "And honestly, Colby's just head over fucking heels for you. I know you think that how he treats you isn't who you are or whatever, but to him that is who you are. You are some hella perfect princess person to him. He sees you as something so amazing and if he fell in love with who you are, then it's stupid for you to try to change how you act in attempt to encourage him to continue loving you."

"Did you just call me stupid?" I asked.

"Yes," Reggie replied. Hm. No one's ever done that. "You're stupid to think that he would ever want or expect you to be anything other than exactly what you are. Do you have any idea how destroyed he would be if he knew you felt like this? It's not like it's completely his fault, but he'd place all the blame on himself anyway. The guy really loves you, Mom. A lot. We all do. For who you are. And for the record, you're pretty funny too," Reggie said. "Alright, this has been appropriately disgusting and heartfelt. I'm done with feelings for the rest of the day." He awkwardly patted by knee a couple times like an old man would and then walked back over to sit by Kevin, who was slumped over asleep.