somewhere in there / jonathan crane

7. intentions,exams and parties (1)

"What the...?" Zoe whispered to herself. Her diary just popped out of nowhere and she was standing in her living room confused, looking at the little black diary. "You know what, whatever." She shrugged it off. Things have been tense lately. New exams were hard and Zoe had to cancel her Christmas week off at her parent's. Her mom was disappointed but at the same time she understood the pressure her daughter was under and she accepted why she couldn't leave Gotham. Noah on the other hand was pretty much stalking Zoe and leaving her messages whenever he could. He dropped out of college and rented a small apartment close to her.

She thought that it would be okay. It wasn't. Zoe couldn't handle the pressure when she passed Jonathan in the halls, she couldn't handle his gaze. She felt like he was watching her every move not to mess up anything.

It was that day when Jonathan announced that she would be his intern for the rest of the year. Zoe declined in front of the whole class, giving a chance to the other students. Jonathan seemed pretty unamused. Or she thought so.

knock knock

"I would really prefer if you were honest with me and tell me why didn't you accept being my intern?" Jonathan stood there expressionless, briefcase in hand, always.

Zoe amusingly stepped aside and let him in.

"I'm waiting for an answer."

"I can't." She said, closing the door. Zoe let out a long sigh and sat down on the sofa, ignoring Jonathan.

"Why is that?"

"You know why." She said, finally giving him a glance. He raised an eyebrow as if motioning for her to continue talking. She sighed again. "It's too much for me. People notice the tension between us and they ask me all kinds of questions. It feels wrong." She explained, eyes focused on the muted tv.

Jonathan sat opposite of her on the armchair, leaning forward. "I never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable, it wasn't my intention."

"That's the thing, Jonathan you don't make me uncomfortable! In fact I feel the most comfortable when I'm with you but when I have to attend your class with a mask on and act like nothing happened the night before - it makes me feel sick."

"It is not my fault you are all over me when I visit your apartment."

"Oh, so it is my fault? Like you're doing this for me to keep me satisfied?

"It is also for my own satisfaction, yes." He said, nodding his head. He stood up and walked towards the sofa, taking a seat next to Zoe whose legs were resting on the glass table. Her eyes remained focused on the tv and he was the one who sighed this time. "I am aware of the fact that you like me, Zoe, but if you really want something you keep it a secret and you pretend. It may not be right but like it or not human minds do work like that."

"My only intention and wish even, was to be your intern. I really, really wanted to be on the top -"

"And you are! Be my intern, it's not too late. I'm making the decisions here not the other students."

Zoe kept silent.

"You love this don't you? You're enjoying yourself so much and you feel guilt that you do. You like my attention so much it hurts when I give it to other students at college." 

"I just can't. I look at you and all I can think of is tasting your lips." She said, finally looking at him. His face looked satisfied as if he pulled the words out of her mouth. "I don't even want to think about how you feel about me." She shook her head.

"I am here, aren't I? I could be at home or at my office but I am here. Don't overthink much, Zoe."

"It's been almost two weeks since we started seeing each other. I like this. I like your company even though you don't do anything except dig holes in my eyes. No seriously, why are you so negatively serious?"