somewhere in there / jonathan crane

21. melancholia

The first few moments after you open your eyes are identical, always. Each time the open eyes greet the sunshine or the sunshine greets you, you either want to go back to sleep or you're ready to start a new day, all over again. Zoe scratched her eyes, letting them adapt to the sunlight. She looked over to Jonathan with one eye closed and yawned. She took the charger off her phone and checked the time. 9 am. Sighing, she put it back on the bedside table and turned over to her side, facing Jonathan who was still asleep.

He looked so peaceful and one thing Zoe noticed, was that he always liked to sleep on his stomach with his hand resting on the pillow. He had beautiful hands, his veins were visible enough to get lost in them. Zoe liked hands. It was weird and she couldn't explain why.

She looked at his bruises and tried to touch the one on the lip but Jonathan grabbed her arm.

"Jesus, you scared me!"

"Morning. What's the time?" Jonathan searched for his glasses on the bedside table and put them on, running a hand through his hair.

"It's at 9 am and I thought you were still asleep." She replied, watching him do it.

"Oh. I should get going. I have an appointment at 11." He glanced at her, sitting up straight on the bed, his back facing her.

"Do the bruises hurt?" She asks, putting a hand on his back.

"No, they don't."

"Okay." Pulling the blanket off her, she yawned again. Her bare toes touching the cold wood since she had no carpet in her bedroom. "Hey, let me at least make you some coffee."

"Alright. I'll be in the bathroom." He said, opening the door from the bathroom.

Zoe walked to the living room, greeted with warm air and sunlight. She opened the windows and let the morning breeze travel inside, slowly playing with her locks as she makes coffee, ready to jump into what belongs to the rest of the day. Like he usually did in the morning, Jonathan walked into the room and coughed, then stood in front of the mirror to tie his tie. Perhaps the weird, sensational feeling will never go away as the reality hits them both, realizing what they really are. She knew he was forbidden to her and he knew he was supposed to stay the hell away from her.

When the moment paced around for a serious conversation about what they were, they ran in different directions, ignoring it till the end they couldn't seem to reach. Simply, the cycle of Jonathan and Zoe. Too doomed to care. "With a double shot of espresso, just how you like it." She said, handing him the cup with a smile on her worn-out face.

"Thanks, Zoe." Zoe. It sounded like honey coming out of his mouth."So, any other plans today rather than going shopping with your best friend?" He asks, taking a sip.

"No. Wait, how do you know about that?" She asks, putting a hand on her hip and narrowing her eyebrows.

"I hope my memory serves me right but I was laying right next to you last night when Jennifer texted you."

"Oh."

"Why did you change your tone all of a sudden? Is there something I don't know?"

"No." She replied and turned around, taking some glasses out of the washing machine.

"Are you sure?" He stood there with narrowed eyes, waiting for an obvious answer.

"Yes, Jonathan. I'm sure."

"I think you're smart enough to know that I can tell when you're lying or not," He began, walking closer and closer to her. "...but I won't be pushy. I'll let you be and if you do something you regret, I'll be there but if you have seconds thoughts about something just tell me, Zoe."