Desideratum ❦ Sehun

❦ O N E

❝ I'm holding in my breath
And looking at you,
As if the world has stopped.
Like the passing wind,

Even if you don't see me,
My heart goes toward you. ❞

Laughter of joy and giggles filled the hall with people exchanging smiles from ear to ear. Everyone seemed so happy and I could only smile while looking at the grinning faces. My stomach was fluttering because I was no longer just a daughter and a sister, but a wife.

It was all arranged since my parents thought that it was already time for me to go above and beyond together with my career. I was not in to argue with my parents but I was utterly shocked when I found out the man they arranged me with. He used to be my classmate, someone whom I didn't have the courage to approach in my life before.  The part of having each other as life partners were so out of question and unpredictable, it still made me wonder about how parents had to choose only us.

The hall was lit up with the beautiful golden chandeliers hung above and the beautiful fairy lights put up just on the pillars. The curtains were the beautiful shade of rose gold, the same fabric hugging the chairs as well. I looked around, spotting my friends talking to my husband.

Sehun, my husband.

He looked incredibly handsome. His caramel brown hair was styled perfectly giving off the 'prince-ly' vibe. He wore a white tuxedo, something which I personally loved so much on him, his frame perfectly accentuated, curving at the right places, especially his shoulders. He was happily talking to my and his friends, laughing at something they were talking about. But then he turned around to meet my eyes and I almost lost my breath. His eyes were gleaming with a different amount of elation and adoration as he looked at me. He smiled warmly and motioned me to walk towards him and my feet moved on its own.

And as soon as I reached him, his arms gently snaked around my waist and mine rested on his shoulder from his back. We looked at each other for a moment and smiled.

That was a moment where I believed that may be we could work this work. May be, we could to find love.

••••••

During the start of this marriage and relationship, we were going strong. I think we were actually fond of each other at first. But then I saw the differences.

We weren't like any couple who would hold hands, we weren't like best friends who would casually talk to each other and share secrets; I didn't know what to term our 'relationship' as. At times I felt like we were acquaintances who were just doing their work. It was so hard for me when my brain would always make me think that we didn't have any motive in this marriage. We weren't going back nor were we moving forward in life. At least, I wasn't.

"I'm actually going to the library, would you like to join me?" I called Sehun as I quickly wore my shoes, taking my purse and car keys with me. Sehun was at work and I got off work early because there was some meeting where I wasn't actually needed so I decided to just relax off the evening.

Sehun hummed against the line as if he was thinking, "Actually, you go ahead. I have some of the paperwork to do... I'll be a little late. I'm sorry..." He replied and I could hear the slight pout in his sadness.

I shook my head though he couldn't see me, "No, don't say sorry. It's totally fine. I'll see you later then?" I answered, locking the house in the process and walking towards my car.

"Yeah sure. Bye!" Sehun replied quickly.

"Se — " But I was already too late because he already hung up. I heard the beep and stared at the black screen. I sighed and slowly sat down in my car, pulling out of the driveway.