Perfect Insanities

Falling Behind

Quick chapter about Kiani. Sorry for not updating. Enjoy!
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Bayani sat in his bedroom, door locked so that no one would come in. Currently, he was curled up in his bed, silently cursing himself. This time, he had really fucked up. What had made him think it was a good idea to show so much affection towards the boy? Sure, it was an attempt to comfort him, but he was almost positive that the boy had gotten the wrong impression. For a moment, he honestly thought he was falling for him, but he quickly got rid of the feelings. It wouldn't work out. There was absolutely no way. And it was unfair of him to make Will think otherwise.

He didn't know why, but it made him angry. As he thought about it, he realized that it had been years since he had been this stressed out. Had there been no romantic complications, he probably would have lasted a bit longer before getting to this point, but either way, it was inevitable.

Will spoke to him no different than usual, but something was off. The boy's voice irritated him, and for brief moments, he wanted nothing more than to punch the boy in the face. Under any circumstance, though, he knew that would be unacceptable.

Weeks had passed since the near rape incident, and the boy was only beginning to grow more attached to him. It would have been wonderful...had he felt the same in return. He feigned kindness, but his attempts to tolerate the younger man only made him more bitter. Why, though? He didn't get it. The problem had hit him suddenly, without any time for preparation.

No, he did get it. It was a combination of guilt and irritation, and it had started not even a day after Will had came back home, traumatized and practically in tears.
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Bayani woke up, and the first thing he felt was a tingling in his leg, telling him that it had fallen asleep. Groggy and somewhat confused, he glanced down, only to find Will on his lap, still dead asleep. His hair was extremely messy from a night of sleeping on the couch, and looked far from peaceful. If anything, Will looked irritated.

Still, the older guardian couldn't help but find him cute. As carefully as he could, he brushed a few strands of hair out of the boy's face, thankful that he didn't stir at the touch. His skin was soft, but there was still make up residue from the night before; Will had passed out before he had had a chance to take it off.

Without thinking, he leaned forward and kissed Will on the lips. What if the boy woke up? He didn't even stop to think about it. Quickly, he pulled away, and the boy didn't move an inch. Good. What had just come over him? The guardian's hand moved up to his lips. It had felt good. He wanted to kiss the younger man again.

Hell, he wanted to do a lot more than that.

At the thought, Bayani felt an uncomfortable stiffness in the lower half of his body, and nearly choked on his own saliva. What the fuck was wrong with him? This was just wrong, especially after what Will had been through. Cautiously, he moved the boy off of his lap, grabbed a pillow and blanked from the other room, and retreated into the bathroom to take a long, cold shower. He pulled his clothes off, and sighed heavily. There was no way that this was normal. Still, even as he thought that, his hand moved down to his lower region, pumping it until he fixed the problem.

If anything, though, it only made him feel worse. Why did he feel this way towards Will? It would have comforted him if the boy didn't share the same feelings, but he didn't even need to ask to know that wasn't true. Just the way he looked at the guardian was enough to tell him that he had a crush on him.

Bayani cracked his neck, groaned softly, and got into the shower. He had no idea how he was going to deal with this.
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