Perfect Insanities

Just Press The Trigger

Jordan sat at his desk, violently tapping his fingers against the wooden surface. He didn't want to be there. Over the past few days, he had been getting more and more worried. Just last night, he had walked out of the bathroom to see Will washing more cuts off in the kitchen sink. They were deep. Deep enough to be considered a suicide attempt.

Rather than saying anything, Jordan turned right back around, shut the door to the bathroom, and vomited until tears started to prick at his eyes.

He had tried to talk to the boy, but all the younger man did was stare at him, shrug, and retreat back to his room. As soon as the man heard the door click shut, he realized that the boy probably hadn't eaten that day.

Saying that he felt guilty would have been an understatement. Every time he saw Will, Jordan wanted to puke he felt so bad. His stomach was always clenching, and for the past week he had barely slept and was stressed beyond belief.

What scared him most was that at any moment, he could walk into his house and find Will dead. He didn't know how long it had been since the boy had eaten, and he had no idea how close he was to offing himself.

This time, he had fucked up. Bad.

And to make matters worse, he couldn't shake the feelings for Will that had pushed him over the edge in the first place. The kid was still beautiful, and Jordan still wanted him.

The man honestly felt disgusted with himself. Even if he could miraculously fix everything, there was no fucking way that he deserved to be with Will. The boy was batshit crazy, but he was kind. Something Jordan couldn't even classify himself as anymore.

Suddenly, he heard a soft knock at the door, interrupting him from his thoughts. It had to be Liam; after all, it was hours before he was supposed to have a meeting with anyone else.

"Come in."

Sure enough, his friend stepped into the office, and quickly shut the door behind him. "How are you?"

"Shitty."

"Go home."

Jordan processed the words, then furrowed his brow. Where did that come from all of a sudden? "What? I can't, I have a ton of meetings and-"

"Please?" Liam all but begged, seeming more anxious than the man had seen him in a while. What the hell had gotten into him?"

"What's up?" Jordan asked cautiously, quickly getting up from his seat. "Is something wrong?"

"Zach's worried."

"About what?"

"Will."

Shit. That shouldn't have been a surprise to the man.

"Oh."

"I think maybe he'd feel better if you were at home with him. He's terrified that the kid's going to off himself."

Had they been talking about anyone else, Jordan would have put up a fight. But Zach knew the boy extremely well, and he wasn't about to take any chances. Besides, he was so worried about the boy that he could hardly focus on his work in the first place.

"Can you cover my meetings for me?"

"Already taken care of."

"Thanks," Jordan murmured, quickly pulling any papers together that he had to bring home with him. "How is Zach?"

"Worried, but fine," Liam murmured. "How about Will?"

"He cut himself last night. Deep."

Liam cleared his throat before saying anything. "How do you feel about it?"