One Shots - Sanders Sides

Pain (Dukexiety)

Summary : When Virgil was in pain, he gets comforted by his boyfriend, Remus.

Triggers : Self harm, cutting, blood (if you're triggered by this, please skip the beginning or this whole chapter. Stay safe out there.)

Mindscape AU

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(Trigger Starts Here)

Virgil sat in his dark room, mind racing with too many thoughts. They were clouding his mind and he was starting to consider things he usually tried to not to. He ran his hands through his hair for the millionth time. He tried to focus on his breathing or on anything. He didn't want to do it. He didn't want to do it.

But he also did want to do it.

Which, was one of the hardest parts. He understood why it was bad but he so badly wanted it. He wanted the feeling, the pain, the blood.

So, he started to do it. He grabbed the old book that he kept between the wall and his bed. He flipped through it until he found the page that held a razor blade. He stared at it before taking a shaky breath and grabbing it.

He rolled up his sleeves and placed the blade on his arm. As his hand moved, blood started to appear. He flinched at the pain, yet he didn't stop. He felt a sense of relief but it didn't satisfy the need for pain. So he kept going.

(Trigger Ends Here)

Virgil could feel Thomas pulling the sides into the living room. He quickly cleaned up his face, making sure there was no trace of tears. He carefully pulled his sleeves down over his arms before sinking into his host's apartment.

He knew he shouldn't have done anything today since they planned on filming. It was going to be a long day and he really hoped that he wouldn't bump his arms. They hurt so badly and hitting them would probably make him cry.

The recording went smoothly. Virgil smirked at Patton's puns and rolled his eyes at Roman's extra-ness. And, of course, Logan talked logically, helping Thomas understand everything.

Virgil was more quiet than usual, but he hoped no one noticed. His anxiety was silently spiking throughout the day. He really hoped no one noticed.

After wrapping up on filming, the sides started sinking down back into the mindscape. Before he could follow suit, Thomas called out Virgil's name.

"Hey Virgil, can I ask you something?"

His anxiety skyrocketed, "Sure," He said calmly even though he was freaking out.

"Is everything okay? You've been really quiet today."

"Sorry," He waved a hand before shoving it in his jacket pocket, "I'm just tired."

"Okay. Well, if you need anyone, we're all here for you. I'm here for you."

He nodded, "I know. I'm gonna go, talk to you later Thomas."

"Bye Virgil."

He did a tiny salute and sunk down.

Once back in the mindscape, he looked around. Patton and Roman were in the kitchen, probably talking about what cookies to make. Logan sat on the couch next to Janus, arguing about some philosopher. Remus laid at the other end, looking bored out of his mind. J and Remus were in more casual clothing since they didn't have to record today.

Virgil's face soften toward his boyfriend. Yeah, Remus was weird and kinda out there, but he had a soft side that no one sees. Virgil loved his soft side.