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Hatred

Tord Pov:

I wake up to the sound of birds chirping outside and the light from the window shining on the floor, I look to my side to see Tom cuddled up against me; He has a smile on his face that lights up my day already.

I should probably get up, I don't want to, but if Edd catches me naked and in bed with Tom he'll kill me. I carefully untangle myself from Tom and get up from the bed, I keep him in the blankets so he stays warm and he doesn't wake up.

I begin to pick up my clothes, but when I accidentally slide my tie deep under the bed with my foot it means I have to bend down to get it. I bend down to the ground and I look around under the bed for my tie, I see two dark things in the bed. I manage to grab my tie, but curiosity on what the other thing could be gets to me and I decide to see what the other dark figure is.

I reach for the other thing and I pull it out, when I see what it is my eyes widen and I get a prettified look on my face. A GUN?! Why the hell would Tom have this?! I look toward Tom with a questioning look, he must've really have been planning something then-

"TORD!!!!" I hear Edd scream in a rage, what the hell? I quickly get dressed and run out the door with the gun safely stored in my pants to hide it, I hope Edd is okay...

Tom Pov:

I wake up to a loud scream and when I open my eyes, I see Tord running out my door and slamming it behind him. Oh.. oh no...

I completely forgot... I.. I have to kill myself... I have no choice. But.. somewhere inside.. I feel... I feel like I want to live! But.. but I know I have to do the deed... He's watching...

I hesitantly get up from the bed and sigh, now where did I- oh right, under the bed. I get down on my knees and elbows and without looking I reach for the gun, but when I don't feel it I decide to look, where the hell did it go?! Where's my gun?! I start to hear loud commotion outside, the only person who could've taken it is.. Tord...

I grab a simple t-shirt and sweatpants from my dresser and hastily put them on, running out my door and seeing Edd screaming at Tord and crying in the living room. What have I done?...

"Edd I would never-"

"Tord I saw your goddamn messages!!" Edd cuts Tord off in a rage.

"Edd I lost my-"

"You mean this?!" Edd cuts Tord off again and pulls out Tord's phone from his pocket, Tord's jaw drops in surprise. "All the evidence I need is in your notifications!"

"Edd I've been framed!! I don't even like your girlfriend!" Tord says.

As Tord and Edd scream at each other, I'm in a complete panic. I've ruined Tord's relationship with Edd and Matt, I've fallen in love with someone that I was never supposed to, Tord has my gun so I can't complete my mission, and the worst part is that I don't even know if I want to die anymore!

I'm starting to actually feel things again, my mask is starting to shatter! I feel the need to cry so bad, but I'm afraid to do it! He's watching and I'm probably already irritating him!

Everything I do, everything I think, everything I say! He knows all of it! He knows everything! I was supposed to be his project, not just his project, but his successful project! I've already failed him! I've failed my Master!

I wasn't supposed to have these thoughts.. these thoughts of love and regret and questions.. I was taught to never feel this much, I was taught to know everything that there is to know among the people I used to know and to use it either against them or with them!

I was supposed to be controlled and not feel love or become loved by the person I choose, I was told it's either be controlled or die! But I'm failing at both!!! Tord has taken my gun and I don't know where he put it!

"Edd... I couldn't have done this! I couldn't have!" Tord says as he looks down at his phone, Edd must've showed Tord the texts...

"Those messages couldn't have been from anyone other than you Tord and you know it," Edd says and I just watch, I can feel tears coming to my eyes.

"Where did you even find my phone Edd?.. I swear to God I lost it..." Tord says and looks at Edd with a saddened face.

I caused this... but it's gone too far for me to confess, I'd lose everything.. I'd lose Edd, I'd lose Matt.. and I'd lose Tord... and they're all I have left in my life... Now that I think about it.. When did I start caring about my life?...

"I found it right here in the living room, on the coffee table," Edd replies to Tord and I hold my breath. "You're sick."

"Edd please-"

"I'm not going to kick you out.. I'm going to leave on my own," Edd cuts Tord off and walks to the front door, he puts his shoes on and opens the front door.

"Edd wait!-"

"There's no way for you to apologize Tord, goodbye," Edd says before Tord can finish and he walks out the door.

Suddenly Matt comes out of his room crying and walks over to Tord, he slaps him and says, "I can't believe you would do this!!"

"What?! What did I do?!" Tord asks Matt in a panic.

"You had the hospital fire me! I can't believe you!" Matt says and runs to the front door, putting on his shoes.

"Matt! What did I-" but before Tord can finish, Matt is out the door.

Tord looks to me and flinches when he sees I'm crying, he has a look on his face.. Before I wouldn't know what it meant, but I know that he knows I did it... It's a sorrowful look, but he doesn't seem mad like you would expect him to be...

"You did this.. didn't you," Tord says more like a statement.

I look down and tears fall to the floor as I begin to have a break down, I start to shake as I scream, "I'M SO SORRY!! You didn't deserve it! You're right Tord! I'm insane! Absolutely insane! I wish this never happened!" I choke up and it feels like I can't breath.. He's probably lost love for me.. and I don't blame him... I would've too....

I hear footsteps come up to me before I get hugged, my eyes widen in surprise.. I hear Tord whisper, "You're back Tom.. You're really back..." I can feel my shoulder become wet, so I end up hugging him back.

As we both cry together, I start to wonder... What would life have been like if I was never kidnapped? Would I have still gotten together with Tord? Or would I continue to be a raging alcoholic with a job at the guitar shop? Who knows.. but right now, I need to make this right...