Little White Lies | Klaus Mikaelson (1)

Gossip Circle

April 2003

I walked through the hallway, my head down and my eyes averted from anyone else's scornful gaze. I mean, I was the class slut. Eyes were always on me. Mostly my tits and ass, but who really gave a fuck about how that made me feel?

Whispers sounded around me as cliques and groups spoke about people they didn't know. People they would never try to know. See, that's the problem with gossip. It's fun until you're the subject. You'll hear a story from another, and pass it on.

Then it spreads like wildfire. Demolishing any sense of truth and logic. There are always hundreds of versions. He and she had sex. He and she kissed. He and he are gay. But the thing is, I know the least popular version of the tales told about me. And that's the truth. No one cares for the truth, because it's never juicy enough. But whether it's good or bad, it needs to be heard.

My world was collapsing and everyone was making a skeptical of it. Why did they decide I didn't deserve to be loved? Who gave them the right to take my happiness away from me?

Well, it didn't really matter now. People decided I wasn't worth it, and that was that. I was in deep, and I was trying to crawl my way out. And whenever someone offered a hand to me, I took. I wasn't an optimist or a pessimist. I was just a fool, naive enough trust. So I took their hand, and then they'd let go and I'd fall further.

I mean, how much can you fall before you finally reach hell?

And that's when suicide became more than a passing thought. More than something that haunted me in the middle of the night, when I say awake staring at the wall. I thought more deeply.

How would I do it?

-----

I was exhausted and my mind wasn't in the right place. Two combinations that never benefit anyone. I haven't slept in days. My thoughts have been full of nothing but my past. I've been dreaming about it or spacing off. I'm trying to tell myself snap out of it, but I just can't. What the hell is happening to me?

My under-eye bags were becoming dark purple, my skin a pale white. I wasn't doing well, and I knew it. Could it all be coming back? The constant sadness, the thought of death always on the edge of my mind? I didn't want that. Life has been better, and I was giving it another chance. I mean, I cut myself. That's horrible. And I'm pushing it away like it was nothing? Maybe I had this coming.

I snapped out of the black hole that was my mind, Sheriff Forbes beginning to speak. Carol Lockwood had died last night under suspicious circumstances, and it wasn't hard to figure out it was no accident.

"Carol Lockwood always said that togetherness, in times of tragedy, leads to healing," Mrs.Forbes spoke.

I glanced over at Tyler, who had tears brimming in his eyes. Poor boy, and now an orphan. The sheriff continued, "That one community is stronger than a thousand of its members." Candles were passed from person to person, lighting the person's candle next to them. A beautiful picture, but very time-consuming.

"But how does a community stay strong, after losing its leader?" Mrs. Forbes continued, her strong facade beginning to become nothing more than a crippled shield. "And Carol was so much more than just a mayor. She was... an open-minded friend... and a concerned mother. Taken from us too soon by a terrible accident,"

I glanced toward Tyler, who shook his head and scoffed. "Screw this," he mumbled. He stood suddenly, pushing his way through a few students.

"What? Tyler," Caroline called as she stood up. She sat back down though after Tyler left. She looked confused like she had no idea how to help him. I wish she would realize that some people can't be helped. Sometimes you just need to let them go.