Requested?: yep, by @CubeyMcCuberson
Title: Guardian Angel
TRIGGER WARNING: SELF-HARM AND DEPRESSION. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THOSE TOPICS, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS.
(y/n)'s POV
Another bad day.
I had but bad days lately.
I needed an escape, I felt terrible. I wanted someone to be there for me but no one ever was. No one cared, no one would even notice if I disappeared.
The only light in this miserable world of black and gray, was my best friend and roommate, Catherine.
But she was busy lately, and I didn't wanna burden her with my bullcrap. It didn't matter, anyway. Eventually I'd snap and leave it all behind.
I didn't know why I was still hanging on, really.
Life had become monotonous and I was just numb. The only way to feel something was to feel pain.
I grabbed the razor, hidden under the sink. Cathy had told me to never hurt myself again when she found out a couple weeks ago, but I needed it. I needed to hurt myself.
I felt eerily calm as a took off my pants, leaving my thighs exposed. Already, there were marks, old and new, deep and surface scratches alike. I wanted to add to the portrait of slices.
Just as I was about to begin, I heard a knock on the door. My eyes watered as this came to me, the numbness dissipating and being replaced with fear and shame. I shared a tiny studio apartment with Cathy, since she said she wanted to keep an eye on me.
"(y/n), darling, are you alright?" She called. My small hiccups turned into sobbing somewhere along the line, and I realized I'd been silent too long.
"Perfectly fine! Just, uh, shaving my legs?" I tried to lie, but I knew she saw right through it. Calling me out on my bullshit was a taken of Catherine's.
"(y/n), please unlock the door." She called. I could gear the panic rising in her normally calm and stable voice. I shook my head, despite being alone in the room.
"It's fine, Catherine, I-"
"It's not fine! Let me in!" She yelled. I gasped. She never raised her voice at me.
She's mad at me, she hates me, I might as well continue where I left off.
The thoughts swirled in my head, overwhelming me and making me go deaf. All I could hear was my own voice as my thoughts spiraled to darker and darker places.
That was, until my mind when blank when I saw the doorknob moving.
Catherine entered slowly, doorknob in one hand, spare key in the other. She examined me, examined my blade, examined my old scars and lack of new cuts.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to raise my voice at you, I'm just so worried." She confessed. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. She slowly stepped over and I laid in the bathtub, looping her arms around my shoulders as she kneeled one the tile. It was an awkward position, but comforting. I couldn't move, but to reassure her I loosened up enough to rest my head on her shoulder.
"It's not your fault." I whispered. I knew she'd blame herself, that was my main concern with getting caught.
"No, it is. I should've spent more time with you, I should have noticed." She whispered, and I could see her eyes glistening with sorrow.
"I hid it intentionally. Look, it's not a big dea-" I started, only to be cut off with a kiss.
"Of course it's a big deal! I'm in love with you! And I can't stand to see you hurt yourself!" She said, remorse oozing from her voice. My stomach dropped.
"You love me?" I whispered, honestly feeling shellshocked.
"That was totally out of line, I shouldn't have said or done that, just forget it." She backtracked, now refusing to make eye contact. I gently grabbed her chin with shaky hands and made her look at me. My face was probably red, and my hair was a mess, and I wasn't wearing pants, but all I could focus on were her brown eyes.
"I love you too." I whispered reluctantly. My voice sounded gross and broken from crying, and I couldn't raise my voice above a whisper. But I ignored the self-hatred in my head, I ignored how un-romantic this moment was, and I gently pressed our lips together. She pulled away, getting up and offering me a hand. For the first time in a while, I didn't feel empty. I was genuinely happy, and the smile that pulled at my lips was a real one.
Cathy was amazing. She always looked out for me.
She was my guardian angel.
(771 words)
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