The Model (Jastin)

5

Justin P.O.V

I felt Jason's lips against mine. I could melt in his touch. I pulled him to my room before shutting the door.

I reattached our lips and felt him grab the back of my head, his fingers roamed my head, I moaned at the touch.

"J-Justin, Justin" he caught his breath. "I really like you" he chuckles his hands still in my hair

Flashback

"I'm not what you see Jason" I whined "I'm not perfect like I wish I saw what other people see in me" I mumbled. I never spoke like that before.

I usually suppress my emotions but with Jason I cannot. I feel like I must tell him my whole life, and I can't.

"What do you mean Justin?" He asked. He looked concerned. Maybe I'm making it up, maybe he doesn't care.

"Like I just don't know.." I trailed. I do know. "Like nobody sees me for me..."

"I see you for you Justin" those words are so comforting.

"You barley even know me" I teased.

"I mean, we have all day...I'd love to get to know, the real you" I felt my cheeks heat up.

"Well—"

"I like you to Jase....a lot" I spoke truthfully. I kissed his lips softly, running my fingers along his body. Our tongues fought for dominance as I felt him push my body against the bed. He looked down at my neck before looking up at me for approval. I smile and nodded. He trailed his lips down my neck, I moaned at the sensation.

He then sucked the spot. "Jase" i whimpered, he kissed down to my body and stopped. I felt his hand lightly touch my scars

Fuck

"J-Justin" I sprung up and threw on a shirt.

"I'll pretend it didn't happen I'm sorry-" I rushed. "I'm disgusting aren't I" I bit my lip. I screwed it up man.

His hand softly rub my cheek before he pulled me into a much needed hug. I let my body relax in his embrace. Why am I so comfortable with you?

"You're beautiful Justin" he mutters "I'll remind you every day" he continues. I felt him rub my back. He probably just feels bad for me and will slowly distance himself from me. He knows I'm a wreck. He doesn't want to be apart of this, be with me.

He pulls away I notice his eyes red, is he crying?

"I-I'm sorry, I just see a lot of you in me.." he trails. "I went through the same thing" he lifts his shirt, they're healed but noticeable.

"Please don't ever feel the need to inflict pain on yourself. It was the worst mistake of my life. I was depressed and discovering my sexuality and I hated it, I hated me..."

"Rise above it" he grabs my hand. "Justin promise me you'll never cut yourself again...any time you feel like you might, call me. I'll pick up anytime. Please" Jason pleads. It's not that easy. He should understand if he's done it. He should know the pain

"Why do you care about me?" I slowly removed my hands through his grip. He looked defeated.

"Remember earlier and I was talking about the real me, t-this is it" I mumbled. "You can go, and forget about today and I'll book your flight-" I felt Jason grab my face and slammed his lips into mine.

"I'm for it Justin, I'm all for you, whatever it takes. Together"

"I promise"

"Don't make promises you can't keep Jason..." I backed away. This is all fucked up. He doesn't care about me.

"Justin, I don't break promises, just let me show you how valuable and amazing you truly are...ok?"

"Okay" I sigh sitting on my bed. I felt like a little kid. That's probably how he sees me now, like I'm this helpless kid.

"I'll sleep on the floor I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone" Jason demands

"I just said I wasn't do you not trust me?"

"Maybe I just want to be in your company" he admits.

My cheeks turn red "why didn't you just say that" I gave him space to lay with me. I turned off my light as we sat in silence.

"J-Jason"

" yes?"

"Can...never mind" this will just prove my point that I'm so needy.

"Tell me"

"Can..you hold me" I felt embarrassed after I said it but then I felt his strong arms come across my waist pulling me into him. He was warm ,I felt protected in his arms. I felt safe.

"J-Jason"

"Yes?"

" do you think I'm some needy little kid?" I asked. Why do I do this? Why do I ask these stupid questions?

I felt a light kiss on the back of my neck.

"I think that your a strong adult that been through a lot of shit.. but who needs to change their ways of healing" he trails

"You'll be here for me? For real?"I asked.

"What are photographers for" he chuckles, I laugh along with him.