Shattered

Chapter 30

We were just finishing up dinner, we sat down normally and Nathan had refrained from saying what he wanted in order to not upset me, I wanted him to be open with me about this so I was going to instigate an open honest conversation between us.

I took some pain medication to help with my massive headache, at least it was helping me now.

"Nathan?" My voice came out quietly, yet still, he heard it and was brought out of his thoughts.

"What's up babe?"

"I want to hear what you have to say." I tell him bluntly not knowing where all this wave of confidence came from.

"I don't know what you're talk—" I cut him off before he can finish what he's saying when very well it is a blank lie.

"I want to get it out in the open, can we just try? Please?" I practically beg not wanting a wedge in between us anymore.

"Yeah we can, how does after dinner sound? We'll wait till this little guy is tucked in bed," he said while poking his little stomach which caused Leo to giggle.

Out of nowhere Leo's emotions changed so quickly "Im scared," he stated bluntly.

"Why are you scared Leo? You have nothing to be scared about." I smile at him taking a bite of my food.

"I'm scared of school, I don't want to go to school anymore, I don't want to." He looks down at his food playing with it using his fork.

"School is fun, you'll meet new friends, be at a new school where you can start fresh," Nathan sugar coats it trying to not make it sound bad to remove some stress factors off of Leo.

"I don't want to, I just want to stay with you and mom," he snaps at Nathan which was understandable, Leo didn't really process that he was being exposed to a new environment different from the one here that is a very developed city.

"Leo, I'm sure you'll have the best day at school and enjoy it, there will be no more Thomas." I tell him the nice side of things.

"Sometimes change is good Leo, these things happen for a reason, this is a good way to learn how to adapt to new things. Look at me and your mom, now we are together as a family, are you saying you don't want it to be like that?" Nathan backs me up using an analogy to get through to our son clearly.

"I understand daddy, I'm just nervous I guess, and scared, what if I make no friends? What if no one likes me? Who will want to play with me?" He asks all curious with a million questions roaming in his head that are going to be left unanswered.

"We can never predict the future Leo, everyone goes through that and you are never alone thinking about what is going to happen and if you're actually prepared for it. You just need to make the best out of what is given and stay positive, try and not think about it too negatively." Moving over to him and kissing the top of his head.

"I'll try mommy, but are you going to pick me up from school tomorrow?"

"Me and your mom will be dropping you off and picking you up from now on, or sometimes Mr. Ben. We will be trying our best from now on buddy, it's just you, me and your mom."

"What about a baby brother or sister?" Leo says causing me to choke on my food and grab my cup of water to help my food go down.

Nathan was sitting there with food in his mouth, both of us staring blankly at Leo, then Nathan chuckles softly, "we're working on that," he turns to me and winks causing me to roll my eyes at his.

No, we are not, I am not ready for another child right now and let along start taking care of them before we even adjusted to our surroundings, our schedule, balancing everything all together. "Uhm, not right now Leo, but maybe in the future."