Shattered

Chapter 52

(I listened to this video when writing this emotional scene. Don't forget that people interpret songs or writing differently, be respectful please. The video attached is background music that contains no words to set the scene, try not to cry! Xoxo, enjoy. Let me know how you felt...)

It's been half an hour since the doctors have come out and told me about a slight complication in the procedure which unfortunately they informed someone who was so anxious that most of the words were blocked out when they had spoken to me.

What is happening? Is dad okay? What is the complication? Only an hour ago one of the residents of whoever came to tell me that things were going well. With the very unexplained complication, it left me alone in my thoughts trapped in this downward spiral of the worst and no matter how much effort I personally put into thinking about another topic like my dad would say. It's okay to be scared honey, you just can't let these things take over your life. Does his words of wisdom apply to now?

Why hasn't anyone come to talk to me? I'm stressed, scared, tired, angry all at the same time. Stressed and scared for him, tired from constantly being awake before my father wakes up so I would be the first thing he see's when he awakes. Angry at all the doctors leaving me in the dark about what the hell is going on.

It's just like films we see playing out where the love ones are being left aside without any clue as to what is happening. I'm sitting on the chair in his room where they allowed me to say because when he is done they will trolley him back to rest. My fidgeting has gotten worse the moment he left the room and looking out the window all I see are family members enjoying the outdoors together all safe and healthy. A part of me was jealous that me and my dad have been so far apart for years, we barely got time to see each other in person but one thing I know is that every time we would get the chance to spend time with one another it would be the best time ever.

Pacing around the large room to just try and get ahold of myself or relieve my stress from the very little exercise I'm doing. I love the way my dad would make my emotional pain go away because he understood me, the way he encouraged me to keep moving forward in my lowest point, the way he told me to fuck it all and be happy. He was my escape from all my sins and heavy past.

All I remember is how he picked me up countless of times when we were stuck in the household, he put my fallen pieces back at six years old and he was so kind. My dad loved me so much that he went through so much to try and keep me safe from the toxic atmosphere. I could see why Reina was jealous of me, it was because unlike me she was cold, verbally hurt people and was so conceited.

That household.

The one where my mother had nourished me and watched me grow unwillingly, never putting me first like my dad had done. He never asked me for anything when we left, fixing my broken heart and never once left me voluntarily.

Look where I am now.

Being raised by one powerful, brave, strong man who had a series of inner battles with himself. The one thing that my father did the best was teach me that there is always another chance that comes, it's only if you seize it then it will flourish to glory.

Which also lead me to take a leap of faith, to agree to see Nathan again when I just wanted to abandon things because of the embarrassment I felt.

My father was a beautiful man that many have taken for advantage. My dad was the best thing my mother could've had if you asked me. It sounds like a cruel thing to say, but it's the truth that has to be said.

There was a day where my dad almost hurt himself badly in a painful way.

"Rick, you always put your time in Alina! Open your fucking eyes asshole, we have two daughters and one of them will make it somewhere. That one is not Alina!" My mother screams at my dad from the top of the stairs, my young self hid behind the wall eavesdropping and could care less as long as I knew for a fact that my dad was okay.