Undercover Lover

Enemy

You had lost count of how long you had been perched in the lounge chair in Gerard's office, your feet propped up on one of the legs as you lounged back. You had the Sykes family's folder cradled in your left arm and some sort of mixed drink Gerard had whipped up for you with peach gin in your right hand. You just needed something to dull your emotions for a minute while you read up on all of the horrible crimes the Sykes family had committed. They mostly targeted small business owners and their families, threatening them to get money or just flat out killing them when they refused. You downed the last sip of your drink, relishing in its distracting burn. Yesterday had opened your eyes up to a lot, and a lot of that had disturbed you. However, you just wanted to get back to your main goal of protecting the city from the actual bad people.

You opened your work laptop, accessing the Agency's database to check on something. In the Sykes file that Ray and Mikey had constructed, it stated that the Sykes family had killed the owner of a small loan agency a week ago. You cross-checked that with the Agency's database, locating a file about the man's murder. You read through the report, your eyes gradually narrowing as you saw the part where Gerard was listed as the main suspect.

"Find something you didn't like?" Gerard asked from across his desk, where he was also drinking and studying a file.

"Where were you last Thursday around midnight?" You asked, not expecting an incriminating answer from him.

"At my place with the guys. Why?"

"The Agency is blaming you for the death of Fred Daniels," you muttered, shutting your laptop with a bit of force. Your instinct was to protect the Agency. You had sworn to stand by them, to serve the city through them, but too many things felt off to you. The Agency felt corrupt to you, and that hurt you more than you realized it would.

"She's still here?"

You turned your head to see Frank walk into Gerard's office, a judgemental look on his face, a pair of black sunglasses pushing back the front of his short dark hair as they rested on the crown of his head. "Got a problem?" You snapped back at him, unable to keep from mouthing off to him. He got under your skin with his cocky attitude.

"Frank," Gerard sighed, not wanting the two of you to start arguing again.

"Last time I checked, she's still an agent. She's still the enemy," Frank pointed out as he made his way toward the two of you, his eyes firmly narrowed.

"What the fuck is your problem with me?" You stood abruptly, slamming the file folder and your empty glass on Gerard's desk before stepping close to Frank, purposely getting in his face. He was threatening, but you weren't scared of him anymore.

"People like you have threatened the safety of my family for years. You think acting dumb and clueless will convince me that you're innocent? You're not innocent. You're the reason so many monsters keep terrorizing innocent people!" Frank told you harshly, jabbing a finger against your collarbone sharply.

His words hurt you. They hurt more than any physical hit you had received from him. "I'm sorry my Agency is doing this, okay? I'm sorry I cluelessly helped them! I ... I don't know what to do ... I ...," you trailed off, feeling hot mist fill the brim of your eyes. You didn't dare let Frank see, forcing yourself to look down at the floor. You drew in a shaky breath, Frank's close proximity not helping you handle the crashing wave of anxiety rocking you. You found yourself abruptly leaving the room, one hand clutching the front of your red sweater as your chest tightened. You just needed some air.

Once you burst through the club's front door, you collapsed into a hunched sitting position on the edge of the sidewalk. You buried your head in your hands, ignoring the cold chill nipping at you. The Agency was all you knew right now. All you were was an agent. You were nothing outside of being an agent.

"Y/N? Hey, hey ... it's too cold to be out here," Gerard's voice softly brushed your ear, his hands gently resting on your shoulders. When you didn't move, he sat down next to you, one hand rubbing your back. "I'm sorry about Frank ... he just gets really protective of us sometimes. And I'm sorry I flipped all of this on you."

You were surprised that he was apologizing. He didn't need to. It was the Agency that needed to be groveling, asking for forgiveness for putting innocent people in danger. Instead of saving lives, you helped Oliver and his family end them. You slowly lifted your head out of your hands, jaw tight as tears threatened to spill from your eyes. You were trying so hard to remain strong, but it felt like you had built every fiber of your being off of the Agency and your foundation was crumbling into a million broken pieces.

"Whatever you do next, I won't let anyone of mine harm you. I don't blame you for anything, okay?" Gerard told you, cold clouds drifting from his lips as he spoke.

His words, though suspended in coldness, made you feel a little warmer. There was no reason for him to spare you, but he was willing to let you walk away safely. Again. "I just need some time to think. The Agency is all I have," you whispered, a tear finally breaking free and streaking down your cheek.

"Just take care of yourself. No matter what you choose to do, you're in dangerous territory," Gerard murmured, reaching forward to wipe away the tear with the pad of his thumb. He gave you a faint smile, one that seemed constricting, like he was keeping himself from saying anything else. He stood and left you on the sidewalk, knowing he had to let you decide for yourself.

You decided to go into the Agency tomorrow. It was time to check-in anyway. Maybe you'd be shown a solid answer during your visit. Deep down, you knew all of the evidence added up to the Agency protecting the Sykes family for money and blaming everything on the Way family, but that meant everything you had previously stood for was fake. There was no honor and loyalty in your position. You were basically as bad as the criminals you took down.

You just hoped tomorrow could prove everything you had learned wrong or convince you completely to leave the Agency behind. Beyond that, you had no clue what your next step was, and that terrified you more than anything else had.