Let Me be Mine

We're Friend (Part I)

After the rain stopped. We continue our trip to the next target. Because it almost getting dark, we decide to visit just one more house which not far from the hut. Not longer we have finished our assignment and prepare to come back to home. We just need to arrange the final report.
Honestly, today is not like usual. I feel like I have a friend. Yeah, Kit. I don't know whether he wants to be my friend or he just gave me his empathy. But it feels like I have someone who really care about me although everyday I always ignore him.
As I know at the last time, there are many students tried to approached me for the first, but after they knew little about me that I look like very shy, cold, quiet, even anti social, they left me. But, Kit is different from them. He seems like wants to guides and treats me to be better one. And I know It looks sincerely.
Actually, I never have any intention to gather with others as normal guy. Gathering with people makes me dizzy and uncomfortable. Even, I feel a little bit of scare if they too close and ask too much to me. So that, the students around me have understand. They just contact me if they really need for some urgent necessity, including group discussion. People think that maybe I had bad experience in the last time like trauma or suffered depression until I can be like now. But, It is totally wrong. I don't want they guess me like that, but I don't want to share the reality that I suffered ASD since I was child to them. No matter if they know about my reality, but I totally hate when other people are too much know about my life. It is totally bothered me. I've had enough.
I have forced myself to try becoming someone who always humble in daily life. But, all is vain. I did everything that actually I didn't want to do. I liked everything that actually I hated. I realized that those just made me hurted. I wanna back to be my self and I always be.
"If you need someone to be your friend, just tell me" Kit says.
"Uhm".
"I know you want to say something, I'll wait".
It sounds like he serves himself to listen everything that I want to tell. I think he does it exaggerately. But I never lie that maybe for now I need a friend. Is this true if I tell him about actually who I am?
Oh, he really makes me confuse. Without like any permission there is someone who suddenly come and want to be my friend. I feel a little bit nervous because I never get that feeling before.
People come and people go and I do not want to put my hope too big. Let see how far do he stand and care to me. Kit, teach me how become a better person.