I'm in too deep

Chapter 18: i don't think about you

Kyara's pov:
I wake up and it takes me a minute to remember where I am and everything that happend yesterday. From my fight with Scott to my impulsive behavior to my talk with Zach. He was so calm and accepting with me, I feel like he actually listened. Unlike other people in my life. He doesn't want to control me or change me. I forgot how it felt to actually be myself, not just a working machine. He reminded me of myself. The me that lived, that was happy and free and crazy but smart. He made me realize that I miss that girl, I miss myself. I miss being smart and living in the moment and doing stuff because I want to and making music bc I have something to say instead of it being a responsibility. But he is not my boyfriend and I haven't been that girl in two years, since me and Scott are together. How did we even end up together?
Well it started my sophomore year of highschool I was a party girl and didn't care for much. I wasn't even friends with Sarah at the moment even though we had been friends since kindergarten. I was reckless, I did what I wanted, when I wanted and with who I wanted. One night I was partying and one of my friends blacked out and had trouble breathing so I called the ambulance and went with her to the hospital. When I was there I met Scott who was volunteering. He talked to me when I was waiting for my friend to wake up. He was so kind and so good. He asked me for my number, which I gave him. We started talking and I felt so at peace with him, so save. We started hanging out and soon dating. I stopped doing everything I used to do. I started focusing on grades and music. All my friends dumped me because I never hung out with them anymore. Sarah stayed, she always did. She was the only friend I had left. She stopped being friends with our old group after she came out. Seeing they weren't the nicest people and definitely not after she came out. We started focusing on school and our passions. Me on my music she on her writing. We are an unstoppable duo. She's still a little wilder than me. She still went to concerts and some party's here and there but she is smart and doesn't do the stuff we did with our old group. We support each other through and through which makes our friendship so strong. I should text her and ask her for advise.

Kyara: hey saar! How you doing?
Sarah❤️: hi kiki!! I'm doing great! How about you? How's the camp? How are the people?
Kyara: good to hear! I'm great! Camp is really cool! The people are amazing!!
Sarah❤️: omg I'm so happy for you! Any people in perticulair? I hope I could meet your friends when you come back! I miss you!!
Kyara: yeah I made a good friend named Jamilia, I think you'd get along great. And a guy named Zach, he's amazing!
Sarah❤️: sounds great, I'd love to meet them! How are you and Scott btw, he seemed cold the last time I spoke to him.
Kyara: why?
Sarah❤️: Well I ran in too him at the store. And he just wasn't as happy as he normally is when I mentioned you. Like he didn't smile nothing in his eyes, you guys okay?
Kyara: he's just been really controlling lately. He doesn't trust me anymore. It's really annoying.
Sarah❤️: the bitchass. He used to be so loving towards you. Know your worth girl!
Kyara: I know. But he may have a point..
Sarah❤️: how so?
Kyara: Well this Zach Guy. Is just really amazing. And he makes me feel free and alive. Like how i used to be, but then healthy and happy.
Sarah❤️: sounds like he's a great guy. But how are you feeling towards Scott?
Kyara: he's been so anoying and suffocating lately. I just don't know if I still want to be with him.
Sarah❤️: if you really feel that way, you should break up with him. Before something happens you can't turn back and it hurts more then it needs to.
Kyara: thanks saar, I'll think about it.
Sarah❤️: nos problemos
Kyara: but how's it going with your love live? Any suitors?
Sarah❤️: Well, there may be this one girl that I met at a writting thing. She's really good and sweet and cool and I think she likes girls but I don't know and we're hanging out tonight and I don't know what to do.
Kyara: is it a date?
Sarah❤️: I don't know. I asked her to hang out but idk how she sees it.
Kyara: what are you doing?
Sarah❤️: picknick with book
Kyara: what time
Sarah❤️: 8pm
Kyara: it's a date
Sarah❤️: you sure?
Kyara: yes and you're going to tell her it's a date
Sarah❤️: isn't that a little too forward?
Kyara: no. You're doing it and you can only text me after the date. Telling me when the wedding is
Sarah❤️: yeah sure. Okay gtg ttyl. Ly Kiki
Kyara: lytt💘

The day flies by and soon we had dinner and me and Jamilia are chilling in our cabin. "So what are your plans for tonight?" Jamilia asks. "I don't know. You have some plans?" " I have datenight with Louis." "How are you guys doing?" "We're great. We really are great together. He's funny and sweet. And our work is amazing. It's just there you know." "That's great. I knew it from the first time I saw you guys together. He has major heart eyes for you ya know."
"No he doesn't!!" "Yes he does it's adorable!" "How are you and scott?"
"Eh. He is trying to control me. Again."
"That doesn't sound healthy."
"It isn't. I don't know what to do. We've been together for so long. But I can't go on like this." "Maybe you should seriously consider breaking up with him." "I am."
"Good. How are you feeling towards Zach?"
"We're friends." "That's it?"
"It should be." "But is that how you feel?"
"No. But I should." I love him, but I shouldn't. "I think you should break up with Scott." "That's what Sarah said." "I like that girl. You need to introduce me to her after this is all over." "Will do!" "I have to start getting ready though!" "Yup! I'll help. Louis won't know what hit him when he sees you!"

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Heyy guys! Im sorry for not updating for so long! I didn't really have inspo. I hope its making sense! Stay safe!! Love, saar🦋