Identity V stuff (Requests Are Open)

Some hunters shenanigans because we need some shitposting after some good angst.

Leo and Robbie were in the kitchen. Leo was backing some cookies (Like the big ol' softie that he is) and Robbie wanted to help him. 

Suddenly, Fan Wujiu (The black guard) came running into the kitchen and hid behind Leo.

"What did you do THIS time?" Leo sighed.

Before Fan could answer, Xie Bi'an (The white guard) burst in. Usually, he was calm and gentle, but for the first time, Leo and Robbie saw the white guard angrier than ever.

"He fucking drew a penis on my umbrella!" Xie yelled. Leo immediately covered Robbie's ears.

"Leo, I know swear words," Robbie said. "The orphanage wasn't filled with nerds."

Leo uncovered his ears.

"So he drew male genitalia on your umbrella," Robbie said. "So what? My sister and I pulled worse pranks on each other."

"Does chopping her into pieces count as a prank?" Fan giggled.

"Shut up." Robbie told him, then turned to Xie. "She once replaced my flowers with fake dead flowers. I had a panic attack, I blacked out, I woke up at the nurse, Mr. Pierson gave me cookies, I was laughed at for a week by the mean kids for being a crybaby... It was fine."

"Yeah, Robbie, that's not fine." Leo said.

"I FUCKING GRIEVED YOU FOR YEARS, BOUNDED OUR SOULS TO A GODDAMN UMBRELLA, AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO DRAW A DICK ON IT?!?!" Xie continued to yell at Fan.

That's when Burke (AKA Mad Eyes) and his robot BonBon entered the kitchen.

"We heard Xie yelling," Burke said. " Who's gonna die this time?"

"Probably Fan." Leo said, pointing at the scared black guardian.

"HE DREW A DICK ON THE UMBRELLA!" Xie yelled.

Burke giggled.

"Never felt prouder." he said.

Xie hissed at the old man.

"I can help you erase it if you want, Mr. Bi'an." BonBon suggested. It wasn't really a surprise for the others that they can speak. They just didn't do it while the carnival is active. 

"Yeah, I'd love that." Xie said, patted the robot's head. "But Fan, you are SO DEAD when it's done."

The robot and the white guard left the room.

"But I'm already dead!" Fan yelled. "You can't kill the dead!"

"Look, we'd love to continue talking," Leo said. "But Mary told us that if any of you two is in the kitchen she's going to torture us."

"Please leave the kitchen." Robbie pleaded. "I already had my head chopped off. I don't need to lose a limb as well."