what about her? (DIXISON)

The talk

Addison POV

I woke up with dixie next to me. I was spooning her and I could see that she was still asleep. I tried getting out of the bed without waking her so I could use the bathroom but she woke up instantly. "where are you going" I heard her say as her voice was raspy from waking up and from crying earlier. "I just need to use the bathroom" I said getting up while smiling at her.

After I was done using the bathroom I was looking at myself in the mirror still in the bathroom. I look at my neck and I could see the makeup slowly starting to come off so I could somewhat see the hickey thats on my neck. what am I even doing? like does she even actually have feeling for me or was this all just a distraction? I love her, she's my best friend but I know that sometimes she just acts on command without even thinking. I hate that I need to ask her this now because of everything but I need to know if she actually feels something between us or if it actually just a distraction.

I walked out and saw that she was on her phone. once she saw that I came out she put her phone down and looked back up at me. I smiled weakly at her as I walked over to her bed and sat on the edge of the bed with my feet still on the floor. "dixie we need to talk" I lightly said. she looked at me worry in her face as she bit her lip and scooted over to me and sat at the edge of the bed with me. "what is this dixie?" I asked as I looked down scared to meet her eyes. "umm... I-i don't really know what this is adds" she said lowly. "do you even actually li- like me more then a-  then a friend?" I asked scared that she's going to say that she doesn't like me more then a friend at all. "adds I-i don't even really know" she said as her voice got crackly. "wow so I was actually just a distraction for you" I said raising my voice and stood up angerly "adds look, I just.. I don't know. my head has been messed up and I-" you know what dixie just leave" I said cutting her off. "adds wait" "no dixie just get out" I said extremely angry now. she looked down as she walked to the door. "I think you should sleep somewhere else for awhile" I said before she could leave. "okay" I heard her lowly say as she walked out and closed the door behind her.

I can't believe she just did that. so it was really all just one big distraction to her. I put my heart on the line and she just broke it. you know what? fuck her! I don't need her! "you don't need her!" I kept saying over and over again in my head as I was crying just standing in the middle of the room. I pulled myself together and walked over to my bed and stripped it so I can wash my sheets.

as I walk down the stairs with my sheets in my arms I see dixie outside talking to Taylor. I guess he came back early because of everything that's happened. I could tell it was a heated argument by the way they were standing and moving. I walked over to the door to see if I could hear them. I know it wasn't right for me to do but honestly I don't give a single fuck on what's wrong or right anymore.

"your such a dick Taylor" I heard dixie yell. "you know what dixie the way you're acting makes me not feel bad that I cheated on you. actually i'm happy I did now because you're  just a bitch all the time" Taylor shouted at her. "wow, just fucking wow! you know what Taylor, I cheated on you too! it was only kissing and at first it was because of a dare and that I was drunk but after I saw what you did I realised I actually like them a whole lot better then I ever liked you. I thought we were happy but I guess I was wrong!" she yelled back at him. "who the hell did you kiss dixie!" he yelled at her and I could see that he grabbed her arm though the window on the door. "it doesn't matter Taylor! all I know is that they are way way better at kissing then you ever will be!" she said as she ripped her arm out of his hold. 

she started walking to the door so I quickly ran to the laundry room and threw my sheets in. I then heard a door slam from up stairs. I quickly ran up stairs to see if she was in our room but I opened the door and she wasn't. I then walked to charli's room and saw dixie laying in-between charli and avani with her face shoved into charli's neck as I could hear her softly cry. charli and avani looked over at me and motioned for me to go over to them. I hesitantly walked over to the bed and sat sown looking at them. dixie must have felt the bed move because she then moved her head out of charli's shoulder and looked at me "what do you want addison?" she asked looking at me. "I- I just wanted to know if you're okay" I said. "why" she asked bluntly. "because you're my best friend dix" I said while I scooted closer to them. "just leave addi. your only making it worse." she said and put her head back into charli's neck. "dix please let me help" I said starting to tear up a little. I got no response so I took that as a "get the fuck out".

I left and went back to my room and laid on my bare  bed and softly cried. did she really mean when she said that she really does like me? fuck why didn't I let her explain to me about it more. fuck I really fucked up. I need to plan something to try and get her back. I can't lose her!