All In For Fitz

Chapter Fifteen

On this day, I never thought I'd be saying that I was 'lucky' but how lucky was I to have Parker Fitzgerald? 

What other people in my life had the resources to get me from NYC at six o'clock at night back to Los Angeles? What other people could bring me peace at a time like this? No one.

"I don't wanna walk in there and see him like that." I told Parker as we stood in front of the hospital

In the past five hours, a lot of tears were shed.

We both could fill the Nile River twice.

Parker put his hands on his face for a second and then moved them away, "This hurts way worse than my Dad."

I turned to Parker, "We have each other through this. If anything that's what would he would've wanted."

He didn't say anything back but he held my hand as we walked to the ICU.

When we got to the room my parents immediately wrapped their arms around Parker and me. All of those feelings that I'd been trying to push down came back up.

"There's nothing they can do for him." my Dad informed us with teary eyes, "He had an undetected heart defect and it got him. The machine is doing all of the work, we just wanted everyone to have the opportunity to say goodbye."

My eyes wandered over to Asher who was lying in the bed, connected to all kinds of machines.

The man who lived up to his name meaning and was always there for me.

Why did I ignore his last phone call?

I stood by his bedside, "Can I touch him?"

My Mom nodded her head, "We'll leave you alone. We're just gonna go right outside."

"Can you stay?" I asked Parker

"Of course." he responded as my family walked out. Parker stood about a foot behind me which gave me the intimacy I wanted with my brother but not the loneliness.

I picked up his hand, "I'm here, Ash."

"We were supposed to go partying for my twenty-first birthday and you just had to go see how Mr. Piggy was doing in heaven." I began as I looked at him, "You be good up there. Maybe you'll throw the best parties in Heaven but don't get distracted by that. I still need you. Even if you're not physically here, I know you're here. I love you so much Asher even if I didn't show it much. You are the best big brother and Irish twin a girl could ask for."

Deep down inside I prayed he would squeeze my hand down or tell me to stop being a sentimental bitch.

But he didn't.

I placed his hand back down as I turned to Parker.

He wrapped his arms around me and I did the same to him.

I don't think that we even needed to say words.

There was just this unspoken understanding between us.

I stood by Parker as he began to speak to Asher.

"Damn brother it wasn't supposed to be like this." Parker began as he leaned against the bed, "I know you're probably up there celebrating because well you know. You were the best friend I ever had and my first one. I don't know what I'm gonna do without you. I really don't. I love you so much, Ash."

Parker moved away from the bed, "Let's go get everyone so we can let him go. I don't like seeing him like this."

The man lying in that hospital bed wasn't my brother.